Monday, August 13, 2018


1. you can only keep 3 things from this list, pick and explain your picks:

wine or beer

without coffee i'd be dead, they'd ironically bury me in coffee grounds/ the only jewelry i like is Jewel/ without books i'd be dead cos i wouldn't be able to read the warning labels on dangerous books/ i think chocolate is one of those things you outgrow later in life, unless you don't have a love life like i don't/ i don't touch a drop of wine or beer cos it's too expensive/ i have no chill for Netflix/

and tacos cos Krillin, the pic up there above......the first pic, very funny come on Krillin's had a hard week what with his own family giving him the business inside that fishtank inflatable house he lives in that Goku visited the inside of for the first time.

2. if your job gave you a surprise 3-day paid break, what would you do with those three days? use those three days to ask for more paid-break, a wish-for-more-wishes sort of thing. that stuff always works in genie movies

3. have you ever tried a threesome? what was the configuration? some people do the Devil's Threesome: two men, one woman. some people do the Angel's Threesome: two women, one man. i prefer the Purgatory Threesome: Dante Alighieri, his platonic spirit guide Beatrice, and i lounge around the cobble stones of the bridge overlooking the plaza courtyard and have a chaste discussion on the implications of the Soul. we don't see the sewers underneath the bridge but rather look out to the city river in front of our eyes, eyes which lay on a flock of ducks getting the hell out of that water as quickly as possible and cutely waddling on the street with the commoners. Dante in his forward-thinker wisdom comments that you shouldn't feed ducks bread. Beatrice in her capacity blurts out that she once saw a gaggle of dicks.

4. in a threesome, do you like to be the star attraction or the bitplayer/personal assistant? this question is so Hollywood. as they say in Hollwood, there are no small parts, only small actors. and small actors with small parts like i have.

5. would you have another threesome? Dante is in Heaven. as for Beatrice, she became a nun. with a gun. it's weird, i started corresponding with Beatrice with long handwritten notes of letter-perfect calligraphy. they would take a year to write and a year to deliver. i'd reminisce about our times, about the raft of ducks, the skein of ducks...she was only interested in the paddling of ducks. Beatrice kept going on and on in her letter about how shiny her new gun was...

bonus: rate your last threesome on a scale of 1-5, 5 being fantastic. The Fantastic Four would have been awesome. but then the director got fired, it was this whole thing and to-do



Jules said...

1: Coffee - it’s not just a drink, it’s an occasion.

Books - They answer everything.

Wine - it is my truth.

2: I would travel to a European spa. Maybe a Tuscan retreat with cabana boys. I would meet Trivago man and together we would sip wine with legs and pontificate on the quality of the sun loungers.

3: Yes, I’ve had a triple cheese pizza and a trio of ice cream. One after the other in fact and I can tell you that it’s true: Too much of a good thing can leave you with restless legs.

4: I don’t queen for nothing. There’s no benefit to me being on the sidelines. This is why I have cabana boys.

5: Maybe at Pinkberry where its all a bit vanilla.

Bonus: It would have to be a three. *)

the late phoenix said...

1. I don't remember when I had my first tantalizing sip of coffee, but man that must have been a good day. you can only know about book-burnings if you read books. to this day, I don't think i've ever drunk beer...that wasn't through a funnel

2. even Trivago Man was once Trivago Cabana Boy

3. I want those restless legs around my neck. YES! of course! never saw it before, the perfect pizza topping is ice cream scoops!

4. imma be right back, making more grapes for you......gotta let the plums stew

5. six words: Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip shake

bonus: please invite me to your next one. i can do Devil's Threesome no problem *)