Thursday, November 16, 2017


Mr. Maldark is greeted with frantic hugs upon his return to school.

Kelechi: *on the phone* no, baby, don't go to the Gadsden Mall. you can see Star Wars anywhere, it's playing all over, not just at that theater.

Halwa is right next to her aunt on the phone.

Deen: Mr. Maldark, it's terrible. they made me build the very crane which ended up demolishing my first Domino's business with a wrecking ball. they knew i loved to build. they said it was for renovations but i never agreed to renovations. i can't afford renovations! this was my first crack at pizza. i liked its old-school charm.

Maldark: i like yours. darn, i was hoping i could stay with you there for some weeks. progress pushes forward without us. stick to me, kid, and you'll be okay. just keep at it renovating my precious Pinto. put your prodigious talents to a cause that matters. they're trying to break you until they put you down.

the school's new course is glimmering in the morning dew aching to be rode.

Maldark: *holding a clipboard* before we start, does anyone here believe in something higher than themselves?

Less: do you have to say yes? cos i'm not sure.

Maldark: nope, you just have to say something. that takes care of the religious exemption. just need to check the box here and that's that on taxes. stupid tax.

Kelechi: i'm gonna test this puppy course out.

Kelechi removes her shoes and socks and barefoots it around the track like the Roadrunner in record speed without breaking a sweat though her feet are sweating.

Kelechi: yep. should be easy with a car.

Maldark: that's it, girl! like you're the first in the neighborhood to check out that new taco tavern that just opened up. you look like you need a bath.

Kelechi: i bought you three weeks' of food. and a flora vasca for myself. i need a tub of roses to bathe in.

Maldark: forest bathing. the new trend i never knew i needed till my house was demolished and all there was left was forest. please, that's too much food. i'm used to it now, my stomach is in permanent knots. donate the food to the class, they got open mouths that still need to sigh in wonder. that need to get hungry again to complete the project. where's my car?

Halwa: still in the garage shop. almost finished. the entire class has been working on it, Mr. Maldark, day and night without breaks.

Maldark: well alright then we can pretend. class, let's everyone hop into this third-row seating and imagine we're at the steering wheel. it's our own little squeezed steering committee.

Kelechi: my feet hurt. not that.

Maldark: i got some talcum powder in the trunk?

Kelechi: can't. that gave me ovarian cancer.

Maldark hugs Kelechi rudely.

Kelechi: i knew you'd come around eventually.

Maldark: i am so soz, dear.

Kelechi: it's a condition called POCS. and i'm particularly suspectible cos i'm a POC, person of color. i try to rub it from me like the sleep from my eyes but these red rashes pop up everywhere and turn my beautiful brown skin ruddy. i'm losing my skin to this red menace. i can't wipe-screen it away. i can't remove my spots.

Maldark: you know the arm on the yellow Arm & Hammer box? that's the arm of Rosie the Riveter.

Kelechi: thanks, Mr. Maldark.

Maldark: *smile* respec womans. now why...

there's a lot of revving. revving up and revving down. and smoke. the other cherried-out cars arrive for the race, decked out in dingy duds and pearly pipes. one in particular catches the teacher's eye and turns his brown eye blue.

Maldark: Bentley Azure.

in the cockpit of the Bentley Azure lies the driver. the driver with the hood over his head.

Maldark turns around.

Maldark: *hands on head* WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR????????!!!!!!!!!!!


Jules said...

Is hugging rudely the new Netflix and Chill?

I’m losing my mind to red menace. I need some med rennies.

Crystal Gale has the Monopoly on Brown eyes blue followed by David Bowie. *)

the late phoenix said...

netflix and grill for the winter, need to conserve that heat

I always keep deflatine in my backpocket. I have a lot of emergencies. I have a lot of trapped wind.

when I was young I thought getting blue contacts would make me more popular. but I've accepted my eye color. the doctor says my eye color is cocoa butter.