Cloris: is this the way to therapy?
Botic: i believe so. it's hard to tell, this place is swallowed by the forest, a garden path circling around forever leading nowhere.
the two give each other a married kiss.
Botic: okay, Clo, i'll pick you up after the session, i gotta work on the bus.
Cloris: and i have to fix myself.
Cloris: oh, i was expecting Dr. Robbins.
Jean-Luc Picard: Dr. Robbins went into the forest and was never seen nor heard from again. don't worry, he'll come out when he figures things out. eh, close enough, we're both bald. now what seems to be the problem today, ma'am?
Cloris: i want to know why i'm happy.
Jean-Luc: lie down on the red-felt couch, we're doing this old-skool.
Jean-Luc: what was the trigger in your life?
Cloris: i suppose it all came to a head last week. the recycle man forgot to take the recycle bin, the trash and weed was taken but not the recycling. a second truck-driver came barreling by and i lost all hope, i was crestfallen. then in a TWINK of my eyes in an instant, i just decided to see if i could catch the truck when it double-backed right at my house to turn around and go the other way down the street. Super Mario, that beautiful man restored my faith in humanity. without fuss or friction he actually stopped at my hand-waving.
Jean-Luc: hailing a truck is an art form. especially in the dead night of early morning.
Cloris: he was not stressed. i was the stressed one.
Jean-Luc: he probably ate a few shrooms for breakfast.
Cloris: he casually picked up the abandoned recycle bin with his claw and elevatored it up without a care in the world, as if this was his breezy job, as it this was any other day on Earth. with a mustachioed smile and a gloved wave, he was on his way. that was the most meaningful human interaction i've ever had in my life.
convince: to get someone to come to your side through a con...
sourdough bread: not toasted, Storybook International-style...
Adalia: once you have a kid, you'll never sleep again...
Charlton Heston: i don't believe in violence. the only gun i use is that big-ass STEEL sour-cream gun at Taco Bell.
Judy Garland: that sour-cream gun is the Tin Man's torso!!!
Clint Eastwood: sour cream makes tacos taste nasty.
Yankees/Mets Subway Series World Series: now THAT's Autumn in New York!!!
Isringhausen: best last name.
Grunewald: ...
Hamptons International Film Festival: for the REALLY exclusive films...
primary care physician: your street doctor for PCP.
Vanity Fair: don't forget the perfume card...
Cloris: in my dream...
Jean-Luc: oh goodie!!! this is my favorite thing to do!!!
Cloris: Billy Corgan was in a commercial on TV advertising Wonder bread but it was called Today bread.
Jean-Luc: your dream makes perfect sense. Billy Corgan isn't a bad omen, he's harmless, he's a harmless avatar of your sadness.
Cloris: i have a love/hate relationship with Hershey's Special Dark.
Jean-Luc: yes. the taste is weird.
Cloris: it tastes like a metallic chocolate waterfall in your mouth. i want to love it to be sophisticated.
Jean-Luc: bittersweet, the taste of sophisticates.
Cloris: young Robert Crumb looked like young Stephen Hawking. both were spacey.
Jean-Luc Picard: that goes without saying. but i'm still gonna charge you for saying it.
Knight of Cups.
Terrence Malick: get ready, YOU'RE FLYING IN A DREAM THIS ENTIRE FILM. nobody else does this, the sumptuous hypnotic POV, the romantic skies, always the beach, quiet introspective narration, it will SWALLOW you.
Terrence Malick: read Pilgrim's Progress, it really is a good book.
Teresa Palmer: fuck me like a rag doll.
Christian Bale: i don't feel any better.
Teresa: come on, dude.
Christian: what are you wearing?
Teresa: what does it matter? this is Hollywood. a Bridgerton ballroom gown, i'm on a soundstage...
Christian: where are you?
Teresa: no one knows where they're going.
Mardith: tarot cards don't predict anything, but the artwork is wonderful...
Madame Pons: that hurts, daughter, that's generational pain.
Jillian Clare: The Squid and the Whale!!!
Christian Bale: i'm at the Joe Pera aquarium.
Christian Bale: can i come back as John Lithgow? he lived the perfect life.
John Lithgow: i want to die in my sleep in a happy dream.........wait, that's my life...
Christian: are you alone?
Teresa Palmer: we're all alone.
O.J. Simpson: ah, so this film takes place in 1994...
me: the beige white-sand pretzel highways, i miss Los Angeles.
Christian Bale: don't forget the tunnels. i always get a headache whenever i drive under a Los Angeles tunnel. i'm hoping that at the end of this thing the answer isn't that i'm Batman.
Terrence Malick: hushed tones, all scenes are a symbol, just when you're about to train your gaze on a scene to laser-focus on it, the scene changes, hiding the impactful bit of dialogue, not showing the reveal...
Randa Slim: didn't you know Eminem's mom was a peace negotiator?
Eminem: diplomats are dank.
Randa Slim: spaghetti ended the Cold War.
E.Z. Taylor: nobody goes to the beach in October...
Bjork: only i compose electronica on the beach...
Brooke Trantor: cuffing season for me is going into a strange man's Instagram Stories ONCE.
Stevie Nicks: i'm Elvira without the goth...
SpongeBob: get the Krabby Patty at Wendy's, i know it's weird with the pineapple circle but still get it.
Sandy Cheeks: proposing with a ring at a bodega, now THAT's how you do it.
Uzumaki Episode 3.
Vincent van Gogh: don't look at Starry Night!!!
Shuichi: don't worry, it's a Storybook International kiln...
Caterpillar smoking an opium hookah: mosquito coils don't affect me...
Jack Daniel: i use cave water in my whiskey. Hugh Hefner is not welcome in my cave anymore. don't worry, our charcoal-mellowing uses tubs that don't contain Uzumaki swirl dads.
Julie Patzwald: i don't drink coffin varnish, i rub it on my corrective shoes.
Ernest P. Worrell: ...
Regis Philbin: that's what you get, SNL, for never inviting me to host...
Jimmy Carter: what if you get sick during a presidential campaign? sick during the bid. what if the candidate comes down with a two-week cold? not a good time to be unwell. of course the candidate will get sick, this is a stressful thing to do.
Fancy Gap: Doryce's vagina.
Holt Hanley: show your teeth when you smile.
Ariana Araiza: never tell a woman that.
Lana Del Rey: we never fucked after we got married.
Lana's husband: i gotta go to St. Petersburg to wrassle and wrangle the hurricane gators.
Lana: those alligators bite. they're angry from the storms.
Lana's husband: is it the Russia one or the Florida one?...
Jean-Luc Picard: how are you enjoying the light therapy?
Cloris: i don't feel a thing.
Jean-Luc: naturally, my dear, it's not heavy. not heavy on your skin, it's not a heavy treatment, not a hard treatment, easily applied. so.
Cloris: so.
Jean-Luc: Gargamel.
Cloris: yes, he is the most lovable villain ever. look at that face, his face is PRECIOUS. an angelic contenance. his voice is so pleasant. remember at McDonald's when they had the glass cups? collect all 4.
Jean-Luc: yes. Gremlins would come out and you could collect all 4 Gremlins glass cups. for some reason the Gizmo and Phoebe Cates glass cups were the most popular...
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