notes:
* Dr. Straface: post-op, that's the one that's fun to go to...
* Mistress Betsy: i cage your puny cock in my massive breasts.
me: humbly.........am i doing this right?...
* Miles Davis: i'm pimp as fuck. i straddle this marble stage in my rainbow white windbreaker, with my jheri curl, nonchalantly blowing my horn as i swing my arm, creating another improvisational jazz masterpiece...
* Wendel Meldrum: no one will EVER copy my acting affect, i have a speech style that is unique unto me, only i can move my lips in such a way when i talk. the seductive starlet-from-the-'30s way i use my teeth to talk.
Buzz Osborne: you remind me of a marionette i used to know...
Wendel Meldrum: my swishy bowling-pin tits swaying with the breeze, fluttering in the jungle wind.
* Fuerza: the weirdest episode of Three's a Crowd is when Jack visits that college-dorm sorority-sister get-to-know-you luncheon at that Illuminati house...
* Illuminati: Medieval woke...
* Boc: good morning, Ms. Moon. your crescent is so thin this morning, you're looking great!!!
Ms. Moon: water diet. i've got a college prom this week i forgot to attend the first time.
Boc: i can see your dark side so prominently.
Ms. Moon: that's what my stepfather always said.
Boc: pray for me.
* Chang'e: WALL-E's true myth.
WALL-E: that myth is alive, it's living inside me as we speak...
* moon rabbit: i get all my jade from Jared.
*Saved by the Bell music plays*
Jim Harbaugh: i'm Screech's cousin. where's Screech?
Kyle Brandt hangs on Jim Harbaugh's shoulderpadless shoulder.
Kyle Brandt: Jim, we need to talk...
* Sonic the Echidna: i'm not extinct, i was just lost.
David Attenborough: don't do that to me, mate, i'm 100 years old, my heart can't take such a scare.
* new weathergirl: small tits big nipples, baby.
* Boc: everywhere i walk, ALL the truck motors are running...
* fritch: a briend who likes bread
* open house: it's never that open...
* huh, Invincible is slowly turning into The Venture Bros....
* safe comments: there are no safe comments as there are no safe people.
* Block Island, Rhode Island: yes, block me, i'm spam...
Peter Griffin: sorry, that was me.
* Boc: traveling circuses are now Winnebagos with frosted windows. oh I'M the suspicious one but there's a guy riding his tiny tricycle in the parking lot with an American flag in his ear. i ain't no undercover cop, that's my nightmare job.
* Rufus: Spuds, is that you?
* carolers.
woman in red beret: this is the Monica Lewinsky beret.
Monica Lewinsky: i mean really this is the Guardian Angels beret.
* McCormick baby: is that cocaine on my head?
mom: no, garlic salt.
baby: i was wondering what kind of family i was being born into here.
* Greta Gerwig: sorry, kid, i was that Santa at Macy's...
* Lindsay Lohan : okay THIS is the big one, we couldn't wait for the Super Bowl?...
Mean Girls: on Wednesdays we still wear pink. but now it's for Barbie.
me: Missy Elliott, are you okay?
Missy Elliott: skinny but healthy.
Lindsay Lohan as guidance counselor: gruel. you know, like Medieval food. there was no Taco Bell in Medieval times.
freshman high-school girls: you're so OLD, ma'am.
Lindsay Lohan: now see this is all wrong, WE, THE THREE OF US, we could STILL do the Winter Talent Show!!!
Mean Girls: remember, Wednesday is in one week!!!
* Von Miller: I wear the gold leather.
Stefon Diggs: wait, what are you doing here?
Von Miller: inventing hip-hop in the '70s.
Stefon Diggs: okay so let's start a tag-team, i have two mics.
* Apple: it's not the OK gesture, it's a pinch, it's pinching your pointer finger and thumb together Italian-style to sprinkle some Tinkerbell magic dust and some shredded oregano parmesan cheese in your bed. you snooze you lose the sign...
* why are Skullcandy headphones suddenly the Christmas gift of 2023?...
happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: all i want for dinner is the apricot sherbet from the 1890 menu...
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