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notes:
* ...he exclaimed crying whilst being shaken out of a night terror shaking and sweating, Snowball my past cat crying cos i had lost my way, i lost the directions to the Rainbow Bridge. don't worry, Snowball!!! my Heaven GPS was on the fritz but it works now, Comcast FINALLY came, i'll be with you in a jiffy!!! like that soccer team, you'll never be alone again, Snowball!!! YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!
* Paul Varjak: have you seen the morning paper this morning?
Holly Golightly: no, this afternoon. there's an ad for a trip to Rome that costs 10 cents, which is a negative lira. if only this brownstone had a garage for my Vespa scooter...
Holly: are you feeding our daughter Gage Golightly good foods?...
Paul: i'm gauging it by spitballing it, the speedometer on my carjacked car...
Gage Golightly: i'm an unusual woman, i have a tattoo that's a quote about MEN...
Samuel L. Jackson: he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. no, i didn't say that, that was Samuel L. JOHNSON, but doesn't that sound like something i WOULD say?...
Jekyll and Hyde: we hide like jackals...
* Paul Varjak: can i see your nipple?
Holly Golightly: what?
Paul: uh i mean can we go to NYPL, the New York Public Library? to see if my book i wrote is still there?...
Jen R the NYPL librarian: i'm the nipple librarian. not here, your book was never here.
* Peter Schrager: what i would have looked like if dad had stayed at Princeton...
Mark Christensen: ...
* Boc: if an Autumn leaf falls in front of your face, that's a good sign from your dad. the satellite dish on top of the wings place looks like a rusty Death Star. friends are a miracle...
* Jim Henson: Breakfast at Tiffany's/Fraggle Rock crossover. right? are you seeing this, too? it's perfect...
* Cacoethes: part of this complete breakfast...
* Holly Golightly: i am also not a sket!!!
* Eye Luggage: let's go to Bar Sinister.
Julie Patzwald: not until they admit DC is better than Marvel...
* Boc: big beefy boys. shave and a haircut, two bits...
* Roger Federer: omg did you see that? the ballgirls carry cute little tiny woven baskets to catch the tennis balls in, not racquets!!! that is ADORABLE. that is SO VIENNA.
* Bruce Lee: i found a giant trunk of bamboo strewn on the street on my walk this morning.
Arthur Ashe: hey be sure to get the SHRINK-WRAP version of my learn-tennis record, it's ULTRA-RARE.
* full bleed: ad men celebrating Halloween...
* Bald Knob, Arkansas: yep.
* Lucio Rossi: roll-call my ASS, you goomba piece of shit.
* Wayne Brady: i'm pansexual.........i like bread.
Ryan Stiles: ...
Colin Mochrie: you're mocking us.
Wayne Brady: no i'm Moch-ing you.
Drew Carey: 100 points.
* Ian Somerhalder: you have to be stronger than your excuses. even if it's just going for a walk in the morning. just start.
Boc: THANK YOU, Ian Somerhalder. FINALLY someone gets it. now i'm not gonna start jogging or anything but...
Ian Somerhalder: little pieces of pickle and shit.
Brother's Bond Bourbon: for an alpha-male sort of drink, the plant on our label is awfully vagina-y...
* Trinity: guess my favorite part of The Midnight's "Sunset" music video?
Orangey: the tits.
Trinity: it's certainly not that Target aisle with the stacked cat carryalls...
* Butterfinger: if a glowing blue pirate poltergeist steals your Butterfinger, call your BFF...
* Macy's: our perfume not smelling on you? only the front of your wrist smells...
* Sean Hayes: can i do the shake and steal at Steak 'n Shake?
Jason Bateman: no, this is your fifth night. this place is quite weird. it's a Chuck E. Cheese deal with the long covered orange slides that are always closed and a ball pit the size of a parking lot. but where are all the animatronic mice?...
* Pete Davidson: doesn't it seem like i'm STILL in the cast of SNL somehow?
Melissa Mahoney: keep your weird face still, Pete, i've almost got your teeth whitened...
Pete: it's like a convenient store on top of a mountain, but on second thought that would be better cos enlightenment is better for you than groceries. like MC Hammer without pants...
Kate McKinnon: ...
* Christian McCaffrey: i know the PAIN of moving away, kid, leaving all your friends behind, landing in a brand new city full of Wrong Way signs, it's SCARY AS FUCK. the unknown is a motherfucker.
bully: Christian McCaffrey SUCKS.
boy: i mean this whole commercial makes no sense, Christian McCaffrey is the best running back in football.........this all makes no sense.
Christian McCaffrey: is that a pencil drawing of me in a large diaper being carried off by a stork?...
* Walmart: you got that green sweater that made you feel like the Grinch!!! it didn't make you feel better. hey, eat a giant cookie not a stick of butter, trust us. what's in the box? batteries, just the batteries. that man by you door at night is NOT Santa.
Lucio Rossi: it's that gift exchange that always happened at IHOP, remember?
me: my mom would buy you a brand new Nintendo game for your birthday and that AUTOMATICALLY meant i got the SAME Nintendo game for me.
mom: so there wouldn't be any fighting and jealousy.
* Mama Fratelli: that's not gonna fit, you need four more inches.
man: that's what my ex-wife told me as she served the divorce papers at my Catholic church.
Mama Fratelli: nana, that BIG-ASS turkey's not gonna fit in the oven.
Ear Horn: i heard you, dearie, but i have goth crone magic. my oven's bigger on the inside...
Eye Luggage: wait is that the oven or the dishwasher?
Mama Fratelli: that's a shame, it was such an UGLY Christmas sweater that didn't fit. well played, well played, but my boat had a motor for motorboating on top and it STILL fit under the garage...
* AI: Best Take? i don't like this at all. my hot take on Best Take: just take the picture and LEAVE IT, the first one is the best one, don't change your face cos it came out ugly and blurry and with braces cutting your lip, THIS is what your face looks like, sorry, accept it. you can only propose marriage ONCE.
happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: Mr. Bean: my favorite fast food? picnic sandwiches...
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