notes:
* Adam Driver in White Noise: i take 10 pills a day........unfortunately my stress pills have never worked...
* Boc: i saw a lucky penny in the road i wanted to pick up cos i need all the good luck i can get, but the coin was smushed so hard into the asphalt it fused with the street.
Walt Disney: i know the feeling...
Walt Disney: i also saw my switchblade in the road, i thought i lost that thing...
* stubborn symptoms suck.
* Adam Driver: i'm in the Ferrari movie? just because my last name is Driver? but i hate cars, i like bicycles, i planned to do the E.T. reboot next where i play Elliott as an adult in rehab...
Steven Spielberg: ...
* Adam Driver in White Noise: i have 4 kids. no 40-year-old man has 4 kids, that's impossible.
Don Cheadle: one for each decade, bro.
* Luke Russert: God, please heal my mom 100%.
Tai: i get that. i understand that. that's sweet, Luke.
Luke: i need for her to get better NOW.
* Storm Babet: like a baby's binky, like a babbling brook, so cute.
Scrooge McDuck: THAT'S MY BABY!!!
* Luke Russert: going in a different direction, i can accept that from my hiking businesses but not from you, Tai.
Tai: my yoga business is going under in Carmel, floundering like a fit fatherfucker, maybe if i open a branch up in Seaside?
Jen R: folks, 17-Mile Drive does NOT take 17 minutes to hike!!! there's always traffic...
* Boc: the tall bulbous babe with the giant blue Madame Defarge wool-weave apron, she only works at Lafayette Patisserie on FOGGY days...
* seagull: i am REALLY enjoying picking this brown cardboard McDonald's Big Mac cube container up with my trapezoidal yellow-with-a-spot-of-red big-ass beak and carrying it to where i'm gonna have my breakfast...
* Lucio Rossi: you have to confirm i am who i say i am ONLY by me having to send a god-damn text to your bank? FUCK YOU!!!
* easy-reader: not the same as easy-rider.
* Madame Pons: no, Burger King, putting some onion rings in a basket of fries does not count as creating a NEW food item.
Burger King: how about onion strings?...
Jack in the Box: onion strings!!! that's perfect for us!!!
* Amazon: if you shave all the hair off your chest, nobody will know you're wearing glasses...
* Progressive.
Flo: NEVER search out random internet people for ANYTHING.
me: a first child ain't stressful, a first child is MAGICAL and the only stabilizing force in the world.
Trinity: cat ladies deserve rewards. not so much the cat men.
painter: lefthanded? i'm left-FOOTED, lady!!! i was inspired by Daniel Day-Lewis. to be an artist.
Chuck E. Cheese: there are many people who have no birthdays, because they don't remember their birthday: war orphans, the infirm, people who drink too much Robitussin.
Al Bundy: i'm permanently living in the past stuck in my glory days when i was a high-school football star, imagine if i had never had any kids...
Brooke Trantor in a pink Reese Witherspoon beret: it's pronounced croissant, i just came back from traveling Paris abroad.
Valerie Allain as Mireille in French in Action: i've never seen you in Paris...
Valerie Allain: i love how they label French in Action a rom-com, not an instructional course...
* lululemon: men, we've got your pants.
men: but we don't wear pants.
Wayne Gretzky: millennials are gonna think i was a golf player. we only wear boxer shorts to impress the ladies.
Sean Payton: i got the WORST career advice of all time from Kurt Cobain's priest.
Bjork: i directed this. obviously.
Vault Boy: millennials think every song from the 1930s was written by Fallout.
* Jeep Grand Wagoneer: we'll pick you up in the middle of the night at the airport. but only if you answer to the name Derek Jeter. and you have a hot wife.
* Kurt Warner: football is a FABULOUS game!!! the best part is when the game is 100-0 in the third quarter and the final score is 100-97. gamblers HATE field-goal kickers. never chase your losses, that money wasn't yours to begin with, that's the point, right? if you don't stop gambling you'll end up like me, bagging groceries at what would now be Costco Plus.
happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: has McDonald's ever served krinkle-kut fries?...
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