notes:
* the photo above is just.........i mean.........IT'S THE MOST SURREAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME.........the more you think about it, the more you ponder upon it.
Andrew Shue: why are you STILL HUGGING ME after everything that's happened, dude?!!!
T.J. Holmes: we're still friends, right? we were friends from before. it's nothing personal.
* Sleeping Bear Dunes: Yogi Bear in the 1980s had to sleep the rest of the decade after watching Frank Herbert's '80s Dune epic movie.
Boo-Boo: i can't eat your entire picnic basket, Yogi, i can only eat one woven-fiber cross-stitch. a heavy meal always makes my stumpy stubby thumby body sleepy for ten years...
* water watcher: dieting underwater...
* Wes Anderson: to watch a film at Cannes is the DREAM, is the ULTIMATE FANTASY, but to ride your blue bicycle through the hills and peaks of Cannes is the HEAVEN YOU CAN NEVER REACH...
* Laertus: i just want to be an art hag.
Dirg: my boy, my boy.........may i touch your shoulder? rub your arm? we need to talk.
Eye Luggage: marry me first, Laer Bear, then we'll talk.
* Sweet Baby Ray's: the sauce Mark Zuckerberg sops up with his bed bread.
Mark Zuckerberg: i was the one person who lost to Glass Joe in the boxing ring...
* Queen Elizabeth II: if i had been an ordinary peasant girl, i would have wanted to joyride with Steve McQueen in a Dodge Coronet...
Sir Alec Guinness stroking his grey-bearded chin and smirking mischievously like the devil: you still can, milady. but only if you maintain a kind heart for 100 years...
Queen Elizabeth II: gimme the car or i take away your knighthood...
* Morgan Bolling in the PBS Kitchen on America's Test Kitchen and Cook's Country: i'm a tasty snack...
Dirg: can i churn you?.........i'm back, baby.
* The Rocketeer: did you see at the end? the small street that in 1938 was a dirt road, ENCINO STREET!!!
me: i know. my heart SWELLED when i saw that. no wonder i love that 1930s time period so much.The Rocketeer: Encino St. became VENTURA BLVD.!!!
Doc Hammer: Venture Blvd.?
Michael Jackson: i can see my Hayvenhurst House in 1938 from here, it looks exactly the same...
* Tresco Abbey: where all the Triscuits for the entire world get made by monks.
Cecily Strong: i'm the only woman allowed inside that abbey.........needless to say it's a party in there...
* red wind: the only way to get to the blue land...
Doryce at the monastery: where the red wine is kept in barrels in the basement...
* Verizon
man in barber chair: i'm at Square Deal Barbers. i expect a square haircut for my square head.
Halle Berry: yeah i rock-climb in hot pink stretchy pants, too. El Capitan was easier to work with than Will Smith.
girl on bus: Two Broke Girls or 2 Broke Girls?...
soccer coach: the goalie hangs on the goal like monkeybars, that's brilliant!!! the ball will NEVER go in now!!!
* Greta Van Fleet: the band, not the woman...
Dodgers: our rivals have Ohtani and yet they strangely can never make the playoffs while we win the World Series every year...
Ohtani: gotta get rid of Trout...
* Ubrelvy
swim coach: i have migraines. do i pop 100 pills before lunch and get in the water?
Serena Williams: never go in the water after you eat.
swim coach: or do i endure the pain cold-turkey?
Leslie Sbrocco: the best turkey is in San Francisco. it doesn't taste like Thanksgiving turkey, it tastes more like Grandma's turkey. price point tho, this succulent crunchy-skin-on turkey's around $300 a pop.
swim coach: i've decided. this Ubrelvy pill will turn me into a dolphin...
Edward Packard: ...
Edward Packard: i was doing Animorphs before Animorphs was a thing...
* Volkswagen
mom: honey, you're acting like a fool again.
dad: in front of the neighbors this time, dear.
mom: just ride our baby in the car around the block a few times to lullaby her to sleep.
dad: she doesn't go to sleep cos she's in the car seat, she goes to sleep because she watches me playing Solitaire on my video screen next to the steering wheel...
* Progressive.
farmer: Mike's Angry Cider is...
Flo: no.
Jamie: La Bamba showed what real applepicking is like in the real world.
boy: you need help with that ax stuck in the log of wood?
Jamie: what do i look like? Kirito?
Mara: do i look like Belle when i'm carrying this French apple pie?...
* Lin-Manuel Miranda: the rhythm of the island. like when i'm in a NYC yellowcab and i dream of being in Puerto Rico on the coast riding ponies with Tom Cruise. and then a chip oily and fried takes me to having a tiny frog's ears. you can't drink coconut milk unless you have a hatchet. we play basketball on colored squares chalked by Salieri the mental patient. where did it all go wrong? i should have worked with Alexandra Silber more. Alex actually came up with the Hamilton idea, except her original libretto was Dolley Madison. now i sleep alone in this lighthouse fighting the sea demons in my head and distracting myself with Murder, She Wrote reruns on Tubi...
* Brian Cox: DIRECTv is WAY CHEAPER than Comcast, no hidden Adult Swim fees for having to purchase Cartoon Network, either. purchase Cartoon Network under the table. Succession is ending soon and i'm sick of the show, they wanted me to come back even after i died on that airplane. don't trust them unless the van says Cable Queens. never compromise your morals, if you can't find the remote control, never turn on the TV by hand. people were never meant to talk to each other...
* David Attenborough: nobody was interested in saving the world, protecting our planet from ourselves, so i have to do dinosaurs now...
happy weekend, my babies.
summer? i'm scared of summer. there's nothing to do. when you have no money. everyone's gone. everyone leaves and never comes back for the fall...
TOMORROW: what's the best fast food to watch a marathon of Unicorn: Warriors Eternal?
Ohtani wearing the gold samurai helmet: did someone say unicorn?...
Phoenix: i know you all will watch every single episode of the big binge party instead of driving, flying, or swimming on a boat this weekend. curry, right? for the worldliness of curry, the worldliness of our cartoon heroes. that THICK ORANGE sauce that fills the swamp that is your body with spice. i make my curry homemade, i get all the ingredients from.........the curry shop around the block. Curry Palace, the best dive ever. your Ninja Foodi isn't for only fries anymore, an air fryer is perfect for SAMOSAS!!! no cleanup if you cook them JUST RIGHT...
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