Monday, February 21, 2022



the day after a big global event, that Monday after, is so melancholic. we're talking Say Anything-level melancholy here. it's hard to get out of bed, to start the week, there's nothing to look forward to. Super Bowls are one thing, but Olympics and World Cups, you won't see them again in the time it takes to go to college.

1. what did you last savor and when?

Water Cinnamon from Boruto! it's my favorite! that i savor! it's my savorite! but then toonami canceled Boruto so...

2. athletic mindblowing sex or slow sexy romantic sex, what do you want right now?

in honor of the Olympics the former. #1. Harvard studies have shown that if you have mindblowing sex, if you reach that level of orgasmic high, if you do it right, participants in a blind study went blind temporarily after the orgasm.

you know i don't think i've ever had soft sex. you gotta do it the snowboarder way, the slopestyle alpine way. extreme. when i have sex the snowboarder way they call me River of Ice...

it's sex, you gotta get the most of it, you gotta get broke in two like Melissa Villasenor sings about on SNL.

3. you are being interviewed and asked to comment on sex-work. what do you have to add to the conversation?

interviewed by Mardith?!!! i say i LOVE sex work. in all forms. i wouldn't BE HERE t'were it not for sex work. i honor all mothers. i honor all fathers. i honor all opera.

4 should sex work be decriminalized? OF COURSE. i wouldn't be here without it. you know i just found out LAST YEAR that i was actually born in Beverly Hills. BEVERLY HILLS!!! no seriously. a hospital with green hedges in Beverly Hills. I should be the one doing the serious Fresh Prince of Bel-Air...

5. fill in the blank: don't ____

don't don't. do it. just do it. be an artist even if you never meet a gatekeeper. even if after almost dying you get a gatekeeper but that gatekeeper is Kanye...

BONUS: are you bored with people who are successful and unhappy? why?

yes. because you will only be happy if you're rich. you think Elon Musk is happy having to go down to Australia to find a new mate? Australia, a place Elon Musk called a "prison colony". if you make it in the sub industry, if you become the king of submarine sandwiches, make sure you add an extra bathroom key to your penthouse suite so you can share munching on an avocado sub with someone up there, it's lonely at the top. you don't want to end up like Brad Garrett.

take my roof for example. the roof finally got done but these things cost money. without money there's nothing over my cold bald head. i'm out in the cold, out in the rain. wait but i love the rain, i love dancing naked in the rain like a crazy monk. bad example. nevermind.


Jules said...

1: Air fried spinach gnocchi with a soy and honey dipping sauce. My GOD. It was a taste sensation this lunch time.

2: Right now I’d prefer yogic sex as I need my afternoon meditations.

3: I would say, “Darling, I let everybody else do the work.”

4: No. Then it can stay edgy.

5: Go breaking my heart.

BONUS: You can’t compare a position with a feeling. Just because someone is successful does not mean they are compelled to be happy. I don’t care for this question.


the late phoenix said...


2. when the Morning Meditations go too need some afternoon delight...

3. i'm trying to become a better lover, i'm watching youtube videos.

4. that's what my corner bookie does now...

5. i'll never break your heart, my sweet.

BONUS: be a guest question-writer on TMIT one week, mah dahlin! everyone over there would LOVE you!!!

as i love you *)

Smu Doodle said...

Melissa Villasenor is my favorite. Her attitude cracks me up even before she says a word. Plus her name is so fun to say. I say it in a pitch black room with a mirror, then giggle like a school girl for an hour. Which ain't pretty for a man of my age.

the late phoenix said...

smu: Melissa Villasenor is criminally underused on SNL, it's such a shame, she's so talented, she can do ALL the impressions, she honestly shoulda left SNL years ago to start her own sitcom. her and Dave Grohl, i can see it, i can see marriage...