Monday, February 14, 2022



i mean what can you say? all you can do is bow down to that, bow down to such a feat in love honor and respect.

2nd pic: not ice pops. not Otter Pops. flavors: lime, lemon, orange, Bud Ice

Condom Awareness Day falls on Valentine's Day, what are the odds?

Lars von Trier: that "ooh baby baby" chips Super Bowl commercial cut too close to home with that animatronic singing fox.

Peyton Manning: um, why didn't i do the voice to my cartoon character?
Eli Manning: i call you Peyt.

Boomer on ESPN: not Grey Cup, Cooper Kupp.

Bob Costas: if you have a Super Bowl party in the UK, you're REALLY not going in to work tomorrow...

1. one of my ideas is to someday create ____

a platform where artists can make money even if they go through their entire lives without ever having met a gatekeeper...

2. do you travel lightly?

yes i'm always alone. sure, when i used to travel. i was naked but carried that insanely-bulky Santa Claus pouch Luffy always carries on his back, a bag that's ten feet high, a bag the size of a Titan. they let me through Customs when they see my straw hat. i don't believe in bulky wallets, i keep all my cash and credit cards in a moneyclip. i lost my moneyclip on a frozen frog's lilypad. the frog was just pretending to be frozen to scare me with its tongue. i make sure not to eat or drink on the plane. i don't believe in planes trains and automobiles. i walk everywhere. know how i got to Hawaii? surfed.

3. how would you create the best dressed baked potato?

Mr. Potato Head black glasses, red Mickey Mouse shorts. for starters. instead of a money belt a belt made of chives. ketchup salt vinegar barbecue sour cream onion. oh i thought you said All Dressed. it's gotta look good cos all youtube videos are shown on it.

4. the best thing you tasted over the weekend was ____

my corner bookie's tears. i consoled him, i gave him a long hug cos he was sad. he lost everything on the Bengals. i lost everything on the Bengals. what was i thinking? Hollywood always beats Cinderella. bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

5. what do you wish you had paid attention to? 

i wish i had paid my corner bookie...

also, i wish there was a way to know if someone is the one, like you look at their eyes and their pupils turn into the thumbs-up emoji. 


Jules said...

1: the niche that sets me apart

2: Not really. I try to but then I thinks - what if I might need this thing or that thing.

3: I would garnish that bitch in garlic butter and fine grated cheddar so that it bled oozing, slippery sex-appeal in yellow and gold. Tell me you’re not salivating.

4: I am currently not eating anything with fat or sugar. I am not drinking alcohol. This leaves me somewhat in despair. However, I did taste the sweet air of spring when I went for a walk. It was only a tang; a whiff. Perhaps just a tease.

5: Pretty much everything.


the late phoenix said...

1. you already have it!

2. just stuff me in one of your suitcases, my sweet

3. i just cummed

4. cheers mah dahlin...oh, sorry

5. that's what the Buddha said

can i just say, you've got one FINE-looking butt, mah dahlin

love you *)

Jules said...


Smu Doodle said...

I have nothing but respect for Gwynny and the mileage she gets out of her vagina. Also, much respect to your surfing odyssey to Hawaii. Such is the stuff that a 31st Century Iliad will be written and published on your gatekeeper-less platform for the ages.

the late phoenix said...

smu: i finally got a gatekeeper. unfortunately that gatekeeper is Kanye