Monday, September 20, 2021



Converse shoe that is. hi, my name is Chuck Taylor. i was abandoned by Jeff Bezos and condemned to live on the moon. this was gonna be a start-civilization-over thing, just me and my commune planting an Elysium field. dancing in togas in zero-gravity, eating Carls Jr.. but there's no growing here, as you can see my lawn needs watering and Clint Eastwood won't hang around forever. Moon Warming is a thing.

1. when the world brings you down, what is your best tip about feeling good about yourself again?

seems the entire world had a bad weekend. a sad weekend. like me, i sure did. and now it's time for my favorite human in the world Fareed Zakaria to dispense us with some of his sagacious wisdom on his favorite segment of his show What In The World:

Fareed Zakaria: i'll dispense with the multiple-choice trivia question. have a hot meal, sleep one more hour. spin a globe, the big ones at Fedco not your desk-globe. drink your coffee while in the shower. these have always helped me.

2. what is your favorite room or spot in your home? why? the den. cos of the globe. and the opium.

3. are you living up to expectations?

whose? oh, mine. i have never lived up to my priest's expectations. i mean it's like look i love Norm Macdonald but the Professor of Logic joke was too long. 

4. what lesson took you the longest to learn?

they're not coming back. nobody ever comes back. that lyric from Trent's last song off the album, "Hurt", has served me well my entire life and has proven true my WHOLE life even when i want to close my ears and forget:

everyone i know
goes away in the end

you start over in a new city. make brand new friends. but soon the pandemic wanes and everyone becomes busy again and the Irish goodbyes eventually start trickling in. it's not even a willful ghosting or anything, but everyone forgets to answer their Instagram DM phone on the same day! ALL your contacts at the same time! people are literally so busy they lose track of time and space and by the time Christmas comes they forgot to do that scene for you they promised and it's been a year...

i've wanted to forget this my whole life, cling onto hope. but this is just the way life is. i say this with my glasses on not my contacts: no contact is not better. 

text someone today that you haven't talked to in four years, do it for me.

5. what has been the most difficult choice you've had to make? moving on. i mean moving out.

oh sure it's easy for the Linzess woman. she gets to be a librarian who can drink prune juice on library grounds even tho she's a babe not an old woman cos of an exemption by the president of Berkeley. Berkeley was always an awkward word to spell btw. not everyone has the luxury of cuddling up to their husband in the treehouse. i do that, too, i have my nose in a book pacing the aisles of the grocery store, i once read a whole Louis Sachar book inside a freezer and didn't notice. i thought the glass door to the freezer box with shelves of pizza was the front door. must be nice, Linzess lady!

BONUS: what defines you?

1080. but i can't afford high-definition.



Bathwater said...

Harshly true. "They are never coming back."

the late phoenix said...

bath: it's true, right? as a teenager i thought that lyric was cool, as a young man i thought it was dark, as an old man i've LIVED it

most people today still think Johnny Cash wrote that song