WHAT 2049 WILL ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE

notes:

* i'll still holding out hope for the flying cars. *fingers-crossed emoji, they finally did the fingers-crossed emoji...*

* back when being a Drifter was a good thing

* the old GE Building, viciously mocked by Michael O'Donoghue in the '80s...

* hello. i'm an expat. my name used to be Patrick.

* Facebook group: hello, dad.
dad: whoa, i thought Facebook was evil.

* dad: what are you doing, daughter?
daughter: i'm a modern kid, i'm practicing my mini-finger-violin whilst coloring your adult coloring book whilst watching a very rare Chinese anime...

* dad: so pecans, vanilla, and maple syrup...
Facebook group: sex thing?
dad: no, i want to make a pecan pie.
Facebook Group: but pecan pie is disgusting.

* FG: check the market at the corner.
dad: every market is at the corner.
FG: i'll be the Asian man with the long black hair.
dad: come on, dude, these are cyberpunk times, everyone has the Trent Reznor hair. how many miles is it?
FG: don't worry, the subway train flies...

* daughter: daddy, why don't you look like me?
dad: not now, honey, we gotta do this pecan pie thing.

* daughter: in the future, there is only one car: the Fooly Cooly scooter.
dad: what the fuck. *wags fist* Sunday driver!
daughter: there are no more days. didn't you see Midnight Cowboy, dad? even I saw Midnight Cowboy, it won the Oscar on Jeopardy!!!

* dad: what these vanilla beans smell like to you?
daughter: white christmas. since all of our days are sunless now. don't stick them up my nose.

* dad: no sir, sir, don't stick your hand in your pants, i don't want to fight, i'm looking for pecan nuts.
daughter: oooh, look how colorful the paint station is!
store clerk's wife: Jean-Claude Van Damme, whatever happened to him? he was so KUH-YUTE!

* dad: hey! you're that guy from the fashion commercial!
baldy: thank you! everyone thinks i'm a monk or Aang.
daughter: can i have your cat?

* at the cornershop:
dad: brimful of asha?
clerk: not cool, dude. what are the origins of a one-hit wonder? we're like 7-Eleven but we don't sell skin mags anymore. still got the hot white fluorescent lighting tho. and plaid shirts and backwards ball caps.

* dad: Jiri's shop...whoa! Jere Burns! where the fuck have you been, partner!?
Jere: hey who pays the electric bill for all this neon lighting?
dad: Bernie. Bernie Burns.

* dad: what time is it? we're late!
daughter: there is no time. there is only The Eternal Moment of Now.
dad: cute, dear, but did mom say 7 AM or PM?
daughter: 7 CM.

* old man: hold your horses, whippersnapper.
daughter: horseracing is immoral.
old man: my last bottle of maple syrup.
daughter: why does it taste like polish for your shoes?
old man: shame what happened to Canada after the Trudeau years...

* dad: *running upstairs at the metro* got the BART ticket!!?
daughter: nope. the Simpsons already did it. i'll just jump the gate like all we postmillennials do.

* daughter: can we make pancakes!!?
dad: no.
daughter: damn.
daughter: happy birthday, mom!
wife: but this is pie, not cake.
daughter: i knew i should've got candles. but candles are outlawed. except neon candles.
wife: thank you, honey. and vanilla-honey. but remember, we talked about that thing about Time when it came to women...
dad kisses wife.
wife: you know, babe, in this neon light, i never noticed this but you look like a young Jere Burns! so how do you like the family Christmas present! notice anything about our front door?
dad and daughter: Cosby Show!
wife: damn right. i pay taxes. our apartment is straight-up Working Girl from the outside drone view.
wife: oh god, this pie is disgusting! nuh uh, no pecan, i like apple, Dutch apple.
daughter: now i get it.

CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

happy weekend, my babies.

TOMORROW: speaking of pie, no there's no Holiday Pie at McDonald's this year---doing the clever-marketing-campaign McRib-style where you starve the customers for 5 years so they can't wait to have that rare item again---so i guess i'll have to get that new BBQ McBurger. at least make the bacon sugar bacon for the festive holiday season...