Friday, April 19, 2019



* kid: you're tall!
carnie: all carnies are tall.
mom: is this safe?
carnie: look at my cream shirt! it says FUN FUN FUN! three times!
kid: LET ME OUT!!!
carnie: you must say the magic word three times: Cardarople, Cardarople, Cardarople!
mom: when did you construct this ride?
carnie: last night...uh. hey, wait! something's fishy here, busteress! look, you see the turtle and the pizza?, that means it's kid-friendly.
kid: TMNT was originally a dark comic meant for adults.
carnie: don't sass me, kid, i'm the sassy one on Stranger Things.
kid: my mom won't let me watch Stranger Things.
carnie: good mom.
kid: why are your eyes always squinty?
carnie: that's racist, kid. this is my LOOK. this is how i get jobs in Hollywood. it's like Napoleon Dynamite but i came up with Napoleon Dynamite first, in my garage in 1979 when i was born. i HATE THE OSCARS! i had to wear this pizza in my hand to the Oscars in my Oscars tux or they wouldn't let me past the velvet rope. it's the only way they see me as an entity, it hurts my hand after four hours carrying the pizza slice, i blame THEM for my limp wrist, i hate show biz.
kid: what happens when something bad happens?
carnie: something bad or strange will always happen, that's life. don't you watch Stranger Things? if we get into any liability for misplaced deaths or tot accidents, we simply move to the next town, where there are no lawyers. only country lawyers.
mom: why aren't you moving? Reno's no Las Vegas.
carnie: the next town is Deadwood City...

* don't let the bent red car fool you, this is gonna have a happy ending

* those newfangled keys are troublesome, my mom got a new car. you have to UNLOCK ALL before you can open the trunk. you lock all the doors, but if you immediately touch the driver's-side door it immediately unlocks...

* hi, i'm Reinhart...not the CW Reinhart...Stranger Things generation...

* do not attenmpt or replicate...unless you have a magic red balloon...

* carnie: Stranger Things and It, i always get those two confused.
Pennywise: me, too.
carnie: what are you doing here?
Pennywise: some broad stole my balloon......believe me, i'm more scared of you than you are of me...carnies are terrifying...

* woman: the Old West, Rockies snow, Heartland train, Connecticut tunnel: i feel i've traveled all the back of the cards of playing card decks my father gave me as birthday gifts before he switched sides. i've saved a ton of dough! no Trivago for this girl!

* that's meant to be a feature, not a bent chassis

* the Mazda will even drive on water, but only if the glacial mountains come alive, form faces, and so state.

* Dolores O'Riordan would have been proud. what a freak-accident-way to go. but i guess it's the ultimate rock-star way to go: bathtub and a bottle of booze. R.I.P.

* this is the car for REAL people.
Pennywise: hey, i'm real under all this clown makeup. i'm even handsome.

* "calloused hands and elbow grease": masturbation

* The Promised Neverland neck-serial-number on the trim of that truck...

* America can't move till that one railroad banister/baluster is put in place...or is that a railing?

* getting to work and getting to work: you can't get to work unless you get TO work. even if you have to walk, cos eventually all flights will be grounded. hey! what are you planning to do with that hay!? sleep on it? lazy.

* late nights: soldier: if we don't have light, we can't save at night---think about it. put on your thinking cap, which is a hardhat with a cute little tiny light on it.

* all this purple-grey mud reminds me of that opening scene of Post Tenebras Lux. which reminds me, i need to see the latest Reygadas...but the full movie ain't out on dailymotion least not the subtitled we go again…

* date nights: man: honey, what are you doing with that remote control in your hand?
woman: it's a reflex, i've had a remote in my hand my whole life, i've never left my bedroom, this is my first time outside, i'm changing the channel of the screen of stars, i want new stars...
man: the black hole makes this impossible, forever fade to black.

* boy: mommy! why are you fighting on the front lines and dad is home with me cooking Barilla spaghetti?
mommy soldier in green fatigues: it's complicated. like Facebook.
boy: daddy says Facebook is evil.
mommy: i'm fatigued. let's livestream somewhere else besides an airport...
daddy: your son has taken up parade rainbow-flag-flying. you happy? this is cos you were never home.

* Sam Shepard: i always get confused with Sam Ellliott. i've never been a cowboy narrator in my life, i'm my own narrator. seriously, has anybody in the intelligentsia or literati or both EVER read one of my plays? from beginning to end?




happy weekend, my babies. Weekend Outside Fast-Food Choice? prolly not pizza...…….is there something happening this weekend?...…………...oh yeah...……….

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