learned:
* nothing to do with Charlie Sheen. or Charles Schwab. or those annoying pizza commercials with the mouse. Pasqually should be doing those commercials. i want a Pasqually plush.
* don't stare at me, stare at the burning palm tree.
* Snoop wants his Emmy.
* this commercial feels uncomfortable.
* young Ace Ventura contemplating an Olympic diving career. to which he gives his gold medal to Dan Marino. Dan deserves something. Miami Dolphins fan army forever!
* basketball player: i want to try to make it here.
me: City of Industry isn't a real city. it's a series of white mall parking lots on top of each other.
* i want to be rich...for more eye tats. don't worry, no tears.
* the new 911 song
* okay, it's still City of Industry, but the mall parking lots house the Hanging Gardens of Babylon! i'd live there. i love plants. i love the smell of nature and the verdant vines choking your every move. and Poison Ivy is your girlfriend.
* Babylon tour guide: want the answers?
me: yes. finally.
Babylon tour guide: the answers only lead to more questions.
me: but why can you smoke in here?
* should be the other way around, the Converse canvas shoes should be made of that psychedelic carpet and the carpet should be white to absorb all the makeout cum.
* freckles are beautiful. flowers, not so much.
* driver: what's the point? robots, you know? it's all robots from now on.
me: like drones?
driver: no, like that Sphero Spider-Man robot. i talk to that thing for hours.
* modern rap. or a seizure.
* i'm gonna eat that banana later. it's on top of my head to remind myself.
* i want to change the world. but first, tea.
* i hold the world in my hands. it's a hologram but still.
* i got generalized anxiety disorder. but i got my Chucks.
* chips or fries? crisps or chips? Alvin and the Chipmunks or Chippendale's?
* i'm yellow. but i ain't afraid.
* Arya Stark: there's a role for everyone. everyone wears masks.
* okay my eyes are turning yellow. i think that's enough plants.
* parrot: this is just the beginning. of your drug trip. i'm not a parrot. this is the pile of cocaine on your desk talking to you.
CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
happy weekend, my babies. R.I.P. Chester. and your voice. that voice of yours of gorgeous shrieking pain. that voice which never went hoarse when all of ours trying to copy it did.
ANYONE ELSE FEELING LIKE A DEATH BY A THOUSAND PAPERCUTS?, CLICK HERE
OR UNCOMFORTABLY NUMB? CLICK HERE
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