Monday, July 10, 2017



1. you have 3 days to live:
a) what will you stop doing? stop complaining. and join the ATP Tour.
b) what will you do before your time runs out? get a new computer...

2. "true wealth is the ability to truly experience life"---Henry David Thoreau
a) are you truly experiencing life? does cyber count?
b) are you truly experiencing a full sex life? does porn count?
btw Thoreau was jealous of Nietzsche his whole life. and Nietzsche wanted to go to Walden Pond but his visa expired. i read that on the internet.

3. during sex, what is something that usually distracts you? huge eyes

4. because you are busy busy busy you have now been ordered to have a scheduled down time of two hours.
a) what time of day do you take your down time? whenever my body collapses face-down into a ditch
b) what do you do in your down time? drink. you have to stay hydrated. drink doesn't necessarily mean alcohol. then again hydrated doesn't necessarily mean water.

5. thinking about your sex life,
a) what are the positives? i'm alive. but is one truly alive without love?
b) negatives? i'm alone. but isn't it true you can't really know yourself unless you're alone? i swung by Walden Pond this morning for my meditations. it's a muni pool now. concrete and a chain-link fence. it's all green. and not from leaves.

bonus: in question 5, how can you change the negatives to positives, or even eliminate them altogether? you need both positive and negative. you can't see the positive unless it's against the backdrop of the negative. your batteries won't work without both. and that means the vibrator i just got in the mail won't work. i'm so excited, i'm gonna do my first unboxing video................................................update: it was just a flashlight.



Jules said...

Well hello there, stranger! I see the Phoenix rises!

And how do you know yourself without a flashlight? Exactly. *)

the late phoenix said...

it was weird being off. you fall into that nefarious blog trap of should I even continue typing at all? but I suppose I shouldn't let this shiny new laptop become a paperweight.

I got a fleshlight in the mail. I don't need more sex toys, I need light!

love ya, you sex bomb *)