Monday, April 17, 2017

TMIT: THE JOY OF SEX



1. when did you see your first naked woman that was not a family member? not applicable

2. when did you see your first naked man that was not a family member? does me count?

3. what were the circumstances of each situation? one day when i was twelve i took a shower and it wasn't about cleanliness anymore. my dick had arrived and sprung up to meet me. from that first boing we became the bestest of friends.

4. at what age did you first witness sexual nudity? was it online or in print? Tijuana bible. Mexico, 1985. my crazy uncle Humberto Eco took me out for drinks at a border dive. i was way too young. he told me the worm in his drink helped him be at one with the water. he was a fisherman. he gave me a booklet with Popeye on the cover so i was stoked. by the first page i asked my uncle why Olive Oyl had three noses. he said those were her saggy boobs. from that little chance encounter on grew my hardcore porn habit to this day. just kidding, i quit. Sasha Grey quit so i quit.

5. sexual revolution, when was yours or it hasn't happened yet? we're waiting for the midterms and then it's gonna be gangbusters, you'll see.

bonus: what's the best sex advice or sex education book you've ever read? (yes it must be a book, could be online but a book)

The Joy of Sex is the greatest sex book of all time. no, The Joy of Sex is the greatest book of all time. you gotta get the original. that thing is all-natural, man. it's raw, baby. it's hairy armpits and '70s bush. i found a copy in my parents' basin and hid it under my bed. then my mom found it while vacuuming. i knew i should have done my own chores. despite being a writer, i simply could not come up with an excuse. i stood there in shocked silence as my mom held the book in her hand and asked me where i got it. i don't remember the next three days...

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY


6 comments:

ancilla_ksst said...

I have that book! My Master got it for me years ago. The 70s style people crack me up a lot. We did get some fun tips from it though.

Sweeten Dirty said...

Hmm, I didn't even think about considering myself as the first non family member woman to see naked. Your answer to number three had me giggling. :D

May said...

Yes great book - so much hair!

the late phoenix said...

ancilla and may: i know, it's the best! strangely, when i think back at my childhood, that book is the main thing i think about

sweeten: you know what they say, you gotta love yourself first...

Jules said...

70's bush! Don't beat around it....*)

the late phoenix said...

i used to think there was nothing gnarlier than '80s bush but i was wrong. there was '70s bush *)