STOP WATCHING TV AND DO SOMETHING!!!

learned:

* but if i didn't watch tv i wouldn't have known!

* the legend reborn is not Batman, it's you

* the song was distracting. sorry. send your hate mail to...don't send hate mail, hate mail is stupid.

* i want to take the subway right now to...no not Subway, Denny's. i want one of those big-ass triple-decker burgers with a sunny-side-up egg for one of the patties and slathered in jalapeno-pepper chips which i pick out of the burger and leave on the side of my plate and don't eat. the burger has a huge steak knife plunged down its middle. the knife is just left there. that's dangerous.

* always remember, ugly dogs need forever homes, too.

* the office is no-pets-allowed. guilty man was only able to bring the dog in after a bath. not for the dog, guilty man had to bathe.

* why are there so many damn comments on facebook? who are these insane people who rant on about this or that knowing nobody cares? isn't there something more important you should be typing?

* support the troops. enact better policies.

* vet: i don't trust your scruffy beard, hippie. can i have your dog?

* Denny's circa 1979 when they still had the indoor lighting awnings made of gold silk strings...

* guilty man: why did you drop out?
plaid kid: they said my red shirt was gang-related and kicked me out of school. but it's not!
guilty man: yeah it's clearly plaid. you like Cobain?
plaid kid: Krist doesn't get enough love.

* guilty man: okay i don't want to be that guy but my entourage down the street here is getting a little too big. i'm gonna have to cut people. clearly not everyone here needs help.

* guilty man: have you tried the new Uni Frap from Starbucks?
homeless man: fuck off.

* homeless man: anything helps.......except your lame jokes.

* polar bear: you said people, not animals.
guilty man: have you tried the new Uni Frap from Starbucks?
polar bear: they make that out of unicorns you know. i heard horror stories from my cousins.

* guilty man: hey can i use your cart?
homeless man: fuck off.
guilty man: no i'm going to get the food.

* plaid kid: why are you having fun while the world burns?
guilty man: i'm not having fun, i'm playing football.

* guilty man: it's no fun watching sports anymore.
homeless man: admit it, it never was.
guilty man: do you play chess?
homeless man: so because i'm homeless i know how to play chess?

* guilty man: hey what's that pink thing you got there, plaid kid? is that the new Unicorn Frappuccino from Starbucks?

* plaid kid: you're gonna make a great mentor, sir.
guilty man: the director only chose me cos Scott Grimes was busy.

* guilty man: okay, movie night! what are we in the mood for, gang? Born in China sounds safe.
polar bear: why would i want to see that? i lived that.

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

happy weekend. I WILL MARRY THE NEXT WOMAN WHO DRIVES ME TO DENNY'S...