I MISS MY BEST FRIEND LUCIO

learned:

* do not watch this high.

* that's NOT oregano...

* happy belated National Spaghetti Day or whatever

* cheese or dandruff? sorry. Anthony Bourdain really fucked me up. he writes a hell of a comic book though.

* Smokey the Bear sued for copyright and lost. he started smoking. don't worry, it's once a day after breakfast just to take the edge off.

* Pasqually from Chuck E. Cheese's also joined in the lawsuit.

* this is authentic Italian. unless pizza and spaghetti were invented in China.

* big guys can still be connoisseurs. they just have to learn how to spit.

* i just realized i've never had wine with pasta...

* parmigiano? no? reggiano? no? dandruff? si.

* and the diet experts said pepper was harmless. oh shit, i'm starting to doubt experts, this is not good.

* that meatball seems to have a mind of its own...like it's sentient...

* under a bush...too soon...

* i mean the meatball's still good, right? it's bacon bits now but it's still good. time to get back to work, you wasted your lunch break.

* me: so Lt. Cmdr. Data, was the meatball sentient?
Data: inconclusive. he said his name was Meatwad but he garbled the rest.
me: why are you dressed in a long flowing coat and white derby and toting a tommy gun? not all Italian bistros are mob hideouts.
Data: that's enough holodeck for today. i gotta get out more.

* me: waiter...
waiter: my name is not Mario.
me: i'd like a scallion pancake and some Chinese noodles...................
*crickets*
me: .................Marco.....
waiter: yes?
me: you're supposed to say Polo.

* i just realized my hands are frozen...

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

I TOLD YOU NOT TO WATCH THIS HIGH, CLICK HERE

happy weekend. hopefully we don't get Flooded.