notes:
* Serano: i took a hard left and ended up here. on THIS island. i thought i was going to England but i was sailing to the LITERAL ENGLAND SHAPE on the map!!!
* Serano: just cos a place has a lighthouse don't mean it's haunted...
* The Scrivener: i'm The Scrivener. the only reason i was able to bag a woman this hot is this obscenely-handlebar mustache i sport on my begging chin.
woman: well it's more like you look like a very-skinny blond Kylo Ren...
* The Scrivener: how can i afford this you ask? how can i live on this island paradise not sullied by the rest of the world's divisions? where the only residential neighborhood is my one house i built from scratch? one road with no intersection? no post office? i'm a famous actor. i was in an Allstate commercial...
woman: the only jeans sold on this island are tight jeans...
* Babe Rainbow: it's not what you think, no foam was involved. it's weird when your band name is named after an album...
* filmed in Nantucket. that tea kettle holds cooking oil. that tiny house that holds the teabags is a fun house. wearing sweaters to honor Mister Rogers predicting 9/11. basset hound honoring Kurt Cobain with the grunge plaid tartan...
* woman: honey did you forget your keys?
Scrivener: the Hello Kitty keys, right? the other keychain is my knucklebone...
* overturned canoe in the front yard hiding terrorists...
* Scrivener: why is that fish more expensive than that fish?
Jewel Kilcher: cos it was caught by a speedboat as opposed to a sailboat, silly.
Scrivener: you mean pirate ship with sails...
* Scrivener: mmmmmm, this brown paper sure smells good...
* LeVar Burton: this bread is still warm...…...which is more than i can say for Reading Rainbow...
Babe Rainbow: hey we tried...
* at the lighthouse:
Willem Dafoe: why are you so serious all the time?
Robert Pattinson: i'm channeling you as i play Batman...
* Mick: thanks, Scrivener. Alice says hi...
Scrivener: so THAT's my wife's name.
Mick: i fucked Alice.
Scrivener: BUT HOW!!!? this island is so small how could i have not known!!!?
The Scrivener looks down and sees the eggs in his hand have melted...
* Alice: a watched pot never boils...
Scrivener: so what happened?
Alice: me fucking the Eggman was so hot the pot exploded...
* Scrivener: wow! i only pay 11 cents?!
Alice: no that's your income after the divorce attorney gets through with you...
Scrivener: time to build that rollercoaster on this island i always wanted to do been talkin' bout...
* The Scrivener isn't heard from in weeks...
the village elders and islanders get worried...
Russell from State Farm: he had such kind eyes...…...what? we're competitors...
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: so i think i know what a torta is but i'm gonna try the torta...
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