TMIT: IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?

1. you have a new career as a Dom or Dominatrix. are you in it for the money or the enjoyment?

you know i had a mindfuck when i switched high schools. went from Crispi Crackers in urbane sophisticated suburban Los Angeles to Seven Palms on a dirt track in the middle of country-nowhere. see my best friend was always Lucio Rossi: a kind fellow-nerd kid who indulged my video-game fantasies, was uncoordinated like me till tennis, built a skateboard out of his long gym bag to school cos he had a bad back and couldn't lift weights, and was the best person who ever lived. then when i get transferred i run into Dominic Rossi who is NOTHING like the other Rossi. THIS Rossi is who you'd expect: from a mob family, big, vicious and cruel, sarcastic, sports-oriented, and willing to buckle the knees of any mook who interfered with the racquet racket with a lacrosse stick. not a holistick. my psyche rended in two and i've never recovered since.

2. do you have a favorite spanking scenario? do tell:

we cuddle up under one scratchy desert-color blanket while my roommate is away and the mice are sleeping and watch Amadeus together with one lightbulb, which gleams during the fog scenes. we watch those lost shorts of Three Stooges, the ones made during the War when The Stooges served yet somehow made it on their Snoopy Red Baron jet-propeller planes back to Los Angeles in time to film the reels.

i know it's The Little Rascals. but shouldn't it have been Spanky?...…...shouldn't one of the Stooges have been named Spanky?......that's a no-brainer, right?...

3. would you rather go topless to work or bottomless to a family dinner?

look. it was no big deal. it was a dinner, i had some friends over. we had a nice breakfast. at 3 at night. or in the morning so it counts. we had some nice toast with honey with some nice orange juice. Winnie the Pooh and Donald Duck came over...

4. tell us your doctor-patient fantasy:

drugs. cos my doctor is Doctor Feelgood...

...no but seriously my OTP Forever is Julia Ormond and Vincent D'Onofrio in that last season of Criminal Intent. right?!! let me tell you, you will NEVER have better messy wonderful lurid taboo sex than the sex with your therapist. trust me, fuck your psychiatrist and watch the rainbows hit your eyes. i wanted those two to have kids, those were future unbalanced characters right there! a scriptwriter's dream! a porn scene right there in her office, the heady doctor and the crazy cop, THAT's how you get a show renewed!

and WHY did it have to be the last season!!? the psychiatrist storyline was just giving the show the new blood-transfusion it desperately needed to survive and thrive the cruel world of television! and WHY did it have to be SVU to break Gunsmoke? if there could only be one Law & Order, it should have been the MOTHERSHIP to abduct the record! but i would have ACCEPTED Criminal Intent to do it, too!

5. tie me up and ___ my ___

loosen my ascot

BONUS: what is the last act of kindness you did for you partner, friend, or family member?

i bit the bullet for them all, took one for the team, and was the only one in my neighborhood who watched the new Cats film in theatres...

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