TMIT: AWFULLY GOOD

1. what qualities do you like or dislike about yourself? i like that i read...but i dislike that i read damp supermarket tabloids. it's just it's always next to the cube gum with the crystals so i get sucked in. i only get out of my room and forage for food once every two weeks, it's an event. this is TMIT, not TMZ, i gotta be the best version of myself.

2. if you had the chance to rename yourself, would you? if yes, what would be your new name?

Bogie. after my parakeet Bacall rest his soul. those two stars had the best partnership, they were King and Queen of their Royal Court in the '40s. in a time way back when when celluloid was pure magic. see that pic up there? that is the only known picture of Humphrey Bogart smiling. they had a Golden Whistle between them as you can see in the above pic, not the Golden Whistle of Drea Blackwell of KSBW, i miss Drea, wish she would return to instagram. Bogie & Bacall were a team, of lovers and trendsetters, they both could pull off skinny ties. it's weird cos in To Have And Have Not Bogie calls her Slim but HE'S the one who's unusually skinny in the picture. did she call him Hump in bed? i want a love where it's destiny and film magic and stardust and we don't have to say a word to each other, we don't even have to kiss, we simply blow whistles in each other's faces.

3. tell us one thing you wished had not happened in your life. what's the deal with the poop? you feel me? i had to go No. 2 JUST as Teen Titans Go waa starting this evening. i decided to hold it in cos, well, it's TTG. the episode ends on a song about poop. and then the commercial afterward is a board game where the object is to step in poop. not sure if that poop was plastic...

4. have you ever been in a secret relationship? why was it secret? yes, i'm in an ongoing clandestine relationship with Vicodin. problem is, it hurts my teeth. oh, and remind me, never take a Vanquish before you eat breakfast. my head is currently on fire, but if i hadn't take it this morning, my head would currently be on fire from having a splitting headache...

5. you must create a rumor about yourself. what is the rumor? Walt Disney created Spongebob right before he died. Patrick ate Spongebob…

BONUS: what would you do if you had 1 million U.S. dollars? immediately convert it to 111306000 yen and buy ALL the anime.

or give it all back to Wayne Brady in an effort to get Whose Line Is It Anyway? back on ABC. i did finally watch the pilot episode of Holby City, "Whose Heart Is It Anyway?". sure, it's British ER but it was good, British telly is always better than global tv. so good i had to look away, i'd be that way that patient was, too, the more i thought about death, i'd get all panicky and nervous and agitated and jumping and bargaining and loving and dramatic-soliloquy and regretful with my loved ones and soapy and hard to swallow.

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