Friday, March 1, 2019

HERE'S TO THE CRAZY ONES...


notes:

* Steve Jobs's final demonstration of genderlessness

* reporter: why are you crying? did you find out your fingerless gloves weren't goth enough?
bicyclist: this was my last chance to get the Olympic Gold for my mom dying of cancer.
reporter: is it because Sheryl Crow broke up with Lance?
bicyclist: no, it's cos Lance let all of us down. and stop crowing into your mic.

* thanks to this great ad, i'm on good terms with Victoria Azarenka again on Instagram, i'd just like to thank her for that. stay strong, Vika. she's had a rough go of it lately what with the custody and her depression, meditations and prayers.

* football itself is nuts.

* go on, take a knee, it's on shin guards so it's okay. that's the best haircut, not just soccer haircut. it's so New Wave, so That's So Raven.

* oh. i miss Li Na SO MUCH. she TRULY was able to bridge the barrier with her sense of humor, it was cutting in English you could only imagine what she was really saying in her native tongue with all the Chinese swear words intact. no lost in translation here. we're gonna need more Li Nas in the world if the U.S. and China aren't gonna destroy each other.

* don't know about you but an angry Sue Bird is hot. sup bird.

* let EVERYONE compete in the Olympics, and i mean EVERYONE. if you can win using enhancements, why not? let everyone have enhancements. men vs. women, illegal equipment. free-for-all battle royale like in Dragon Ball Super. what if countries didn't have to hide anymore under sealed indictments in secret court and just came out in a press conference and admitted their long sordid planned drug regimes and histories of paying off the judges for decades? what would a fully-corrupt Olympics look like on tv? where anybody could take anything and see who's the druggiest. would they even hand out medals? there'd be hella lot of wrongful-death lawsuits, that's for sure. and the Velodrome? let everyone use those Tron scooters.

* i'm wth you, girl, that jacket was ugly anyway

* yeah that was pretty brutal. a smashed racquet somehow led to a female tennis player having to take off her shirt and be disqualified for time

* wife: why did you hit me?
husband: we didn't get Bryce Harper.
wife: that's no fucking excuse!!!

* i GUARANTEE a woman would beat all the men in a marathon eventually

* women boxing...…...happens every Friday night in the parking lot of the club i go to...

* has anyone ever flipped, done a complete all-the-way-around forward flip then dunked an NBA basketball before? like during a live game?

* Candace Parker...is the height of hotness.

* i would perform better if i were coached by a woman. i have a teacher thing, i know. got a teacher jones.

* it's not called fencing, in my country it's called survival.

* why couldn't Ryan Lochte have had a surprise like that? a good surprise.

* that Chloe Kim age joke on Family Guy was uncalled for. even though everyone was thinking it.

* everyone has completely forgotten about Kim Zmeskal...

* LATER, at the Millionth X Games in 2030, held on the Moon Owned By Ukraine:
Phoenix: sup bird. i can say that cos i'm a phoenix.
skateboarder: have you seen I'm A Phoenix, Bitch! at the West End? i hear it's quite good.
Phoenix: yeah i heard about that. on Instagram.
skateboarder: i'm Tony Hawk's daughter.
Phoenix: yeah i know. sup hawk.

* Serena, we're all waiting with baited breath till you win that first Major as a mother. the Mama Major.

CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

happy weekend, my babies. Millennial Seinfeld on tap, i wonder if his SNL monologue will be about those Froot Loop donuts. Mulaney and Seinfeld apparently both have a thing for cereal. OH and Power Rangers are back!!! this is the one that's actually supposed to be GOOD this time!!!





2 comments:

Jules said...

My sweet, I’m starting to loathe and detest the majority of Instagram. Not the pictures, the art, or the tryers. No. But I can’t abide the vacuous, narcissistic, wannabe liked but will fuck you over in a heartbeat, types. And they seem to be growing. Along they come to follow you, not because they enjoy your work or feel uplifted by your style, but because they want you as a disciple to praise and worship their egocentric centric. They discard you at their nearest opportunity but expect your loyalty. FUCK OFF, YOU EGOMANIAC! I don’t want to be part of this horrible world where prima donnas live. It’s like an Olympic race to influencer status. Sickening, unworthy idolatry. I want Bowser to eat them all.

Love Ya *)

the late phoenix said...

mah dahlin I wholeheartedly agree and know what you mean. i’m afraid much like Brexit, social media is impossible. we knew this day would come, there’s a price to pay for not speaking to people face to face. know that I will love you till my dying day, my love *)