i've survived this long, but i'm not counting chickens, the year is not technically up. there is only one thing which would pull me from a new episode of The Orville, one thing: TMIT.
1. daily rituals. do you have any which you will abandon in the new year? will you begin new daily rituals? if so, which ones?
i have a daily ritual where i abandon a friend daily. as you can imagine, i've run out of friends. i need to stop this. even if i'm a monk i can still help. like i can pray for them or something. gotta say, as a monk, i'm sick of ritual. i want to be free again. the usual, diet and exercise. but i'm only allowed three loaves of fish per week as my Recitation Ration and i have to stay on my knees at all times, so i guess that technically counts as exercise.
2. what significant relationship improved the most? i'll be honest with you guys, the dark days are getting darker, and there're more of them, and it gets harder as you get older to climb out of holes. but then i look at my cats asleep on my bed hogging the covers and i can only smile. it was a blessing this morning to wake up to find cat throw-up all over the linoleum floor i had waxed as my monkly duty just the night before, i cleaned it up with cat-themed paper towels and felt blessed.
3. what relationship in your life deteriorated? the usual: my family, my fam, my mom, my sister, my only friend (me), and my secret lovers. and as usual, it's all my fault. i'm a bastard, let's get that on front street upfront like a television upfront. i apologize in advance. you really don't want to have anything to do with me longterm, i'm only gonna let you down Trent-style. i know this cos i've lived with myself all these years, i'm a bad roommate. i need the cell all to myself. can trust once broken ever be regained again? how do i get it back? one step at a time, like a pebble thrown into a lake, the first concentric circle, i learnt everything i know from my favorite atheist, Bruce Lee.
4. what do you wish you had done more of in 2018? how do you plan on doing more of that in 2019? i had contemplated giving up storytelling soon, but i figured that would last a week and then i'd be bored to death. if i ever became a monk for real, like give up tv and the computer and stuff, i'd get bored within a week and be itching to write again. see it's not the thing itself, it's that i'm a contrarian, i always have to be doing the opposite of what i'm doing now, the grass is always greener for me, i'm always thinking about the vacation from the thing i'm doing, not the thing i'm doing. i'm an eternal planner. in the eternal Bored vs. Busy Debate, i think overall in the long run boredom is worse...
5. what important person in your life needs more of your time? will you give it? there's a little old lady who lives in a Redbottom in the outskirts of town by the hill. she needs babysitting like the dickens. i help out when i can, but everytime i visit, there's another kid who's popped up. she is quite popular in the forest. she's my everything, my tax guy, my tech guy, my teacher. my drama teacher, she was the one who first intimated that work was the way to go, not boredom, you should be willing to die for your art, literally die on stage, not from a bad joke, actually die. more than anything, she was a woman of her word. i hear a talking horse now cares for the kids up there...
BONUS: how can you redesign your evenings to bring more restful "you" time to the end of your day? easy. hire Carter Oosterhouse. remember Carter Oosterhouse? what happened to him? i mean i know he's still sexy and muscular and with the wavy hair and everything but where did he go? last i saw him he was building the Oosterhouse House next to the giant Louboutin. i want Carter to work on my evenings like this is the last shelf he'll ever sand. and i want him to do it to a Dido album in the background. remember Dido? what happened to Dido? she had that one big year with Eminem then disappeared right after her Love Actually experience...
gotta go, my tech guy says my computer is unsafe. and my Steelers are just about to enter the playoffs...
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2 comments:
I like that you use “learnt” instead of “learned” That means you’re not a bastard and having health with you longterm can say that you have never let me down. I still believe in the Cinnabon date…
Happy New Year, MY sweet *)
Happy New Year, mah dahlin, and thanks for all your support of me through the decades, you're the only one, you're the only ONE!!!
learnt is the Chaucerian spelling. I asked the Wife of Bath if Shakespeare was good and she said his ruff got in the way of the lovemaking. she said she had a secret recipe for Cinnabon at her cottage so I went and her house was just bathrooms, no other rooms, no toilets, just baths everywhere. and it wasn't so much Cinnabons as soggy bottoms...*)
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