* this is probably not the best thing to watch around Christmastime...
* Hunky Boys Ding Ding, that's what i thought the title was...see i was okay believing they were hunks just thought they were too hungry for ding-ding dinner for their own good like a pavlovian COME AND GET IT bronzed triangular dinner bell with an aspergillum to shake it with.
* this looks like the spooky start of that other Cartoon Network show pilot that didn't get picked up...
* Emo Philips, more goth than emo. you can tell from the haircut he paints.
* the problem was the bent weathervane. that's what doctors always told me would cure my depression, i just had to have my jaw realigned.
* nobody appreciates the fine art of typewriting while in a biker gang, or writing whilst dipping one's quill pen into a chandelier. Liberace was liberated, o why can't i?
* i've never died before...i'll be sure to DM you the selfies i take...
* don't look at the cameras, ruins the illusion
* why is everyone in such a hurry to die? haven't you read Sagan's assistant's letters? you ain't gonna be seeing Grandma again. as for Grandma's pussy...
* oh, hydraulics…...thought you said Hydra Headed
* it's all fun n games till someone gets an eye poked out...by a noose
* see this is the Looney Tunesization of death, making it all seem not so serious and camp and everyone comes back for the next cartoon
* Plympton pumper...is it possible for a taxidermist not to be creepy?...they say what we're all looking for in a sexual mate is the opposite-sex version of ourself
* maybe we shouldn't have built this house on the foundation of a single rope.
God: no, that was brilliant, it forced you three magi to work together whether you hated each other or not. who says you die alone?
* this is no time to work out
* your eyes actually do bug out like that
* remember the days when game shows weren't sinister?
* this game show...is not an invitation for a four-square foursome
* Transylvania has the strictest gun laws on this side of earth for obvious reasons
* the tv studio is conveniently located next to our shack out in the middle of nowhere on a hill where it eternally rains and the lightning (like the stars) is so close you can touch it with your nose
* i'm a librarian and this blindfold was for our Fifty Shades In Fifty States promotional tour where we went around rest homes getting our senior citizens to read more.
* just looking for my true Sid
* Emo: this is the type of poetry only those with a high IQ would get. you know, like Rick and Morty viewers.
* if you take out all the philias and phobias, it really is quite the romantic love story
* we've been through this, Total Recall II would never work. don't you recall?
* that was sublime ventriloquism, even if the camera panned down
* think of me as Bart Simpson when he first burst onto the scene with that skateboard
* who is spraypainting all these Broadway backstages? Banksy?
* there is only Hologram Happiness
* love the lie...
God: this guy gets it.
* i have it on personal authoroity that Chaucer HATED the lute
* good seeing John Goodman getting work after Roseanne
* Chaucer actually came up with the phrase "what's your damage?" but no one noticed
* this is what youtube stage directors don't understand
* delayed reaction to the penis...
* so we needed Hitler to get Einstein? why is life so profoundly and prodigiously cruel?
* Bart: wait, is the man me or the woman me the real me?
* it's a traditional Heathcliff Roger Rabbit candlelight dinner over a trashcan lid
* love hurts.
Bieber: i swatted you guys...for real.
* kissing yourself is like kissing your cousin. OH it's the Outkast Kiss where a kiss on the lips instantly makes the woman pregnant! i always loved that alternative take on life, nice and clean, fresh and clean even, less messy without all that sex messiness, very sci-fi fantasy human evolution.
* never trust a man with a potted plant as a hat.
Stevie Nicks: what can i say? i'm a gypsy, i need to be free.
* that saw makes me sad
* the lightning-round of every game show is rigged, you know that, right?
* fuck you maggot hearse Hava Nagila garam masal paint your wagon identical interests: i always trust the black guy in these situations
* Paint Your Wagon was when Clint Eastwood started to get angry...
* we're all God's doll parts, right, Courtney Love?
* woman: the devil tricked me! i had too much freedom! i choose the Pokémon Movie! but what if my brother is my soul mate? okay i'll go to Hell, but that humidity is gonna be hell on my already-frizzy hair.
* well at least we get to see three babes before our pants are pulled down to our ankles...in humiliation.
* Jesus was lonely like the rest of us so he started a band...
* priest: it's not polygamy if it's sanctioned by the Catholic Church. marriage is a sin, i can say that as long as i keep this white collar on.
* we need our guns, we don't have drums…
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happy weekend, my babies! this weekend we're a Bacon Maple Chicken sandwich family at Wendys. what's your favorite holiday sandwich?
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