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i love this commercial. it's so reassuring. the man represents all Man and the woman is obviously God. despite the craziness around him, man can be comforted by a God who's just fucking with him with a wink, a nod, and a knowing smile.
1. how do you and your loved one connect? strictly by messageboard. we belong to a group which types our feelings everyday online. it's only the two of us on this messageboard, it's private and requires a password which both of us have long since forgotten. we can make it if we try. everyday we express our love to each other with the messageboard messages. flowering declarations of the chaste sex we have for each other involving words like McDonaldization and Starbucksification. we like it but in truth it gets lonely...
2. when did you last make a mistake and were you okay with that mistake? when i forgot the password. it's okay cos we never meant for it to be a party. i think. it's just in 40 years i'd hate to think i'm still gonna regret finding out the password was "password" and Steve Jobs could have been on the messageboard. he kind of is anyway cos his spirit inhabits the messageboard but it's not the same thing. like we get unusual 3AM posts about Apple Store-ification that neither i nor my lover can remember writing...
3. what are you just not seeing? dunno, not sure. i mean i get that Jobs’s a ghost, but isn't all of our jobs to eventually become a ghost? and don't get me started on the ghosting. do you know how humiliating it is to be ghosted by a ghost? i've been doing experiments when i'm not on the messageboard. i've been trying to see if a narcoleptic can still have a lucid dream...
4. if you could spend ten minutes with your hero alive or dead what would you ask them? i'd tell All Might you gotta stop it with that Burger King permasmile it's creepy.
5. who in your life do you wish you'd have met sooner? my past life as a page in the Medieval era with albino white-blond hair and a pageboy haircut using a wooden bowl. but in order to effect that i'd have to be SO SOON as to not have even been born. or construct a time machine with just wood chicken coops and moatwater in which case i will have never been born cos i would stay as the Medieval page forever.
bonus: have you ever won a medal for a sports activity? what sexual activity are you sure to win the gold?
yes. i defeated Nadal at the French Open. in Madden.
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I'm never sure if you are being serious or funny so I just assume everything you say is absolute fact. They haven't taken me away in the funny van yet.
ancilla: it’s not so bad in the funny van. there’s much joke-telling and merriment and eating of the granola bars before they take you away for life...
Wait, granola bars??? What happened to the cookies?
ancilla: the men in white coats now wear green coats...
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