Monday, September 10, 2018


Ray Charles is blind. love is blind. God is love. Ray Charles is God. Burt Reynolds is God. Burt Reynolds is Ray Charles.

1. when i can't sleep i___

pretend i'm dead

2. my dream bedroom would be full of___

large grey bolted-sheet pails of ice-cold water circling round my bed. so i'd know. if they were empty of water, i was still dreaming. cos only a crazy person in reality would keep filled water pails by his bed.

3. if i could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be___

my dream bedroom. cos then i'd know i was awake. btw the walls of this dream bedroom of mine are plastered totally with large autographed rolled-out glossed-out posters of Hellshake Yano. saves on plaster. and then i do the Bucket Challenge.

4. i need to ___ at night.

refill my penis

5. ___ would truly be a nightmare.

see 1. think about it, pretend you're in Heaven. but how could you ever know that this is the real Heaven and not an illusion? is this the last final bottom Heaven place free of tricks of the mind, total spirit, not pretend? who would tell you that it was an illusion if it looks and feels and thinks so real to you? and would you believe this angel? how would you ever know one way or the other? you'd go about your day picking berries into your basket in this fake place and never be the wiser...

6. night time is the right time to___

eat the moon

bonus: briefly tell us about your last dream---erotic or not:

i'm excited at the mall with the rest of the excited mob to stand in line and get my driver's license signed by Hellshake Yano. it will never be an exited mob cos there are no fire exits. but then someone not Hellshake comes onto that stage next to the green-neon-lit Orange Julius. it's his manager. the manager tells us that all of our instagrams are a lie, HE's the one who leaves comments not Yano, and that Yano will not be appearing today he's sick. as we all cry, the manager goes, "SIKE!" Yano is healthy and the manager just likes wielding all that power. the manager makes the tongue motion with his mouth at me which i find strangely okay.

when i get to my turn and my step up the grey block i look Yano in his sunglasses and he looks me in the eye and we have horizontal sex on his signing table. i tell him i did it all for the nookie and that i hope this ensures that we'll be getting another season of Pop Team Epic, FLCL Alternative is good slice but not crazy enough, we need our crazy quota filled, we're mall teens.

Yano takes off his sunglasses, which is just more sunglasses, proclaims to me in disgust, "that really burns my cookies" and in a hole in the mall stage descends back to Hell. where there's enough heat to bake cookies. this is the place you want to continue baking, forever...


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