Friday, September 7, 2018



* btw, that ad was the most noncontroversial thing ever. it could even shock you with inspiration if you let it. this has got to stop. on all sides. sure Kaep's not the most-polished speaker but he has the best hair. let's have a sonorous speech again. we have to go back before we can go to the future. does anyone remember how this all started? or why? everyone remembers a book's ending, never a book's beginning.

* cool narrator: hey Sticks, you playing football this year?
Sticks: no, i'm playing hockey. obviously. let me get back to you.
cool narrator: whoa, you're a cop, too?
Sticks: no, this is my uniform with the fluorescent hi-viz yellow vest.

* cool narrator: what kind of music do you play? rap?
Sticks: the music that's in my heart. it beats like a drum. i create my own beats.

* runner: hey cool narrator, you're distracting me, want me to trip over these hurdles? you'd get a kick out of that, wouldn't you?
cool narrator: hey man, i don't kick anymore, i don't kick it wit you like that, i kicked that habit. hurdles are like that guy on the electric roller who almost injured a recordbreaking Usain Bolt just cos he needed a better up-close photo.

* runner: whoa! i didn't know i was fucking Mario!
rapper: you're not, young buck. unless you grow a Mario mustache.
nine months later
rapper: that's not really a Mario mustache. now you just look like Prefontaine.

* kid: can i bring the deep threat?
cool narrator: you threatening me, kid? you look like you're on your way to summer camp. school's starting, son.
cool narrator: whoa! what have you got in the trash bag, son!?
kid: Wario.
kid: what up, Kaep?
Kap: that's Kap.

* Kap: hey boy, can i borrow your lawnmower?
kid: famous people cut their own lawns?
Kap: it's for my hair.
kid: can i borrow your tie?
Kap: that's the lining of my jacket.

* kid: you ain't never heard a voice like me!
cool narrator: cool. like me the narrator. rap?
kid: Stuart Scott is my idol.
cool narrator: no idea who that is.
kid: go back to your crib, get the pillow off your bed, and that's my pillow now, G! you deserve to sleep on rocks like what's in yo head!

* cool narrator: hey kid, what's in that water glass?
kid: all they said was it was from The Lab.


happy weekend, my babies. GO OSAKA!!! Djokovic will only win if the Argentinians aren't allowed in the stadium. hell he may still not win even if the Argentinians are allowed to only roam the campus, you'll still be able to hear them.

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