Friday, July 20, 2018



* i'm always one for keeping the family together.

* there were the variations on The First Purge for the title that will never happen on my watch

* this starts the way the Lifehouse "Spin" music video ends, with the dude smoking at the sun, defying the sunset

* spoilers: he has a daughter. remember?

* this is the kind of stuff Tolkien would write if her were alive today...which he is...he's buried in a magic mountain not the theme park

* will i be alive to see if the Blade Runner future is real and what really happens? perhaps the more pressing pertinent question is will Harrison Ford be fitted with cybernetics and a personal robot pilot so he'll survive long enough to see it as well?

* executive: the ads are everywhere.
CEO: and whose fault is that?
executive: yours.

* CEO: flip the switch.
gamer on his first date: you don't look at all like your profile. is your name really Ms. Taco Belle?
attractive red-headed woman in silhouette: that's cos the lights went off in this Taco Bell establishment.

* filter team: don't worry, we got this, boss. we'll spraypaint all the Nacho Fries posters on bus stops and replace them with posters with just the Batman logo against a black backdrop, no other words. people will freak out and have no idea what's going on. is Tim Burton coming back? is this the new Bruce Timm thing on HBO so he can finally add all the deviant sex and strange ships he wants? which Tim is it?
CEO: what's with the clown makeup? Tim Burton should have played The Joker in his own movie, he already looks like the Joker.
filter team: no worries, Australian CEO boss to hide our assets on an island, the makeup is so we don't get recognized.
CEO: but by being crazy clowns you'll attract the attention of the cops. or worse, Batman.

* daughter: i had fishnet stockings. now i just have a net.

* CEO: that's small potatoes, Jim.
executive: nacho cheese.
CEO: i don't get it.

* man: i'm homeless. but i got my hands on the one thing they can't take from me.
daughter: freedom.
man: no, Taco Bell Nacho Fries.
daughter: next time put out your trash fire so we can talk in the dark.

* daughter: LET GO OF ME!!! tho i must say this is a nice red-carpeted gilded spiral staircase. reminds me of that one Titanic scene. this is from all the money you collect from unsuspecting gamers, huh. pretty pretty nice.

* i really need to start watching Outlander, huh? i hear the sex in that is great. or The Bastard Executioner cos i want to tell people out loud around the office watercooler the next morning the title of the program i watched last night. or at least Milwaukee Blacksmith.

* man: a-SALT with a deadly ketchup!!!
the crowd goes wild.
man: i won't say pepper cos i don't want to bring attention to myself. also, thank you for this beret, makes me look like a sophisticated revolutionary.
daughter: and thank you for these Lara Croft bootyshorts. can you turn off the cascading heavenly spears of light waterfalling into this abandoned warehouse? my light skin burns easily.

* Josh Duhamel: I'M BACK!!!
daughter: DADDY? i thought you were dead! you missed all of my formative years. i went to the prom with my Mr. Potato Head i was so obsessed with the cause......we're getting married in the Fall, he's an honorable man and we had a bit of a wild prom night. spent the night inside. i went to college in Idaho. i did my graduate work in Wisconsin when they wouldn't let me into Mexico.
Josh Duhamel: for a limited time! get those Nacho Fries while they're hot!!!
daughter: don't you have anything to say to me, daddy?
Josh: here's a salt-n-pepper dog i gotcha to make up for everything.
daughter: i can't sing so Fergie's not my mom, is she?

* daughter: *flipping the script later to director flipping the script* um, i was told the father was dead and this would be a star-vehicle just for me...

* for SHAME, Volvo!!!: CLICK HERE

i was so excited when i heard there was new Walt Whitman from Volvo but why does the woman waitress only get 30 seconds when the man got 3 minutes! so disappointing, this was going to be this week's showcase in my head.

* Christmas In July. no, ALL MY CHILDREN <---now THAT should have been the title


happy weekend, my babies. the weekend is shaping up like a hosel-rocket arch. nicely: the British Open or The Open i guess it's called now is gonna be a burn-burner with Rory and Tiger in the mix.

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