Monday, June 18, 2018


can't wait for the new Total Drama, it's been ages

1. what was your biggest worry five years ago? do you still have the same worry or feel the same way about it at this minute? 

that i would die before making even my slight imprint on this world. that no one would know about my art. it's getting better on that front thanks to Instagram and better vitamins. i don't have to be famous despite the name of my blog which I named personally myself, i don't have to have all the money. right now i only have enough money for one ankle weight. i don't need to be JK Rowling. btw why does JK Rowling have an instagram? seems redundant. all she has to do if she wants to broadcast a message to the world is pick up her phone.

2. do you have a negative or positive body image? what factors contribute to your self body image? a) ads b) media and social media c) comments from others d) introspection and analysis of self

i'm too skinny to think about this. in a bad way. for a while there Bill O'Reilly was the only Factor. my i'm glad things changed. media and social media have now merged as one dangerous echo chamber. this is why i only trust Batman, bats stay away from echo chambers to locate their souls. using echolocation. the media gets blamed for a lot but it's not their fault that Jared Leto looks that good in gold. if anything it made me give up my inflatable dolls and opt for an inflatable pool to put my new gondola in. i turned off the comments on my social media but realized that just renders the whole thing moot. instagram without comments is a silent art gallery. is it really a social without interaction? even if you're holding a pop? i tried martial arts like Batman but ended up karate-chopping my heart. i fell in love with my instructor but it was a forbidden love cos i was white and she was black belt. Kim K told me i was fat. like she meant it in a good way, like a fat butt. or maybe she meant phat butt it's tough to read sarcasm online. and no one has used phat since David Letterman.

3. how confident are you as a person? a) no confidence at all b) confident round friends and family c) confident at work and in my job d) very confident in my surroundings---work, social settings, with strangers

i'm more confident around strangers. my friends don't like that. what exactly counts as your surroundings? cos i live in a virtual 360-degree world. i never take off my eye-phones and electronic cat-ears.

i was confident this morning till i saw JK Simmons pumping iron all buff. this is a sad commentary on our society, old men are not allowed to become kindly and dottering anymore. JK was a guest on David Letterman's show and he interviewed Dave instead, he made Dave cry when he shouted at him. so much so Dave grew out his beard to look like his captor. i have the sneaking suspicion JK stands for Just Kidding. have you ever seen JK Rowling and JK Simmons in the same picture? jus' sayin'. she/he is obviously operating on a whole higher level than you or i. not saying it's black magic or Scientology or anything, but it's, well, let's just call it cold confidence.

4. how creative a person are you? why? a) not creative b) average creativity c) creative in some situations d) very creative

too creative. i can't control it. my mind is constantly bombarded with my own craziness like a drill. mind control is one thing, but what are you supposed to do when it's your own mind doing the mind-control?

people think soccer is easy, dumb, and boring, but it takes creativity to score a goal. to dance like a Brazilian barber and juke and jive and psych-out each defender on your blazing path of glory to the storming cross in the back of the onion bag. R.I.P. Tommy Smyth's onions.

this is how i got those rugburns on my knees i swear it:


5. do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? why? a) agree b) undecided or don't know c) disagree 

d) remind me later

bonus: what do you wish you had invented? 

a way to watch cartoons live as they're happening the way you can watch a World Cup match live as it's happening

facebook bots. it's not what you think. yes i'm doing this from my basement bedroom but i'm lonely. i only did it cos i wanted sempai to notice me. i heard Zuckerberg is required by federal Senate-confirmed law to friend everyone who's on facebook so there's no one with zero. i hear Mark's a pretty chill dude

coffee stirrers. coffee stirrers are one of those things that you think would have been invented long ago just out of gravity and inertia but actually were never invented until you decided to invent them


Jules said...

I only trust Batman, Kevin, Bowser and Noops.

Kaned, my sweet. They will all be Kaned. *)

the late phoenix said...

remember that story of the American (I think?) tourist who got caned while overseas on vacation? not sure what he did to warrant the crime other than being a frat boy, which is enough. it was this worldwide global international-news sensation that almost caused World War 4. either in the '90s or '80s, I was a tender lad who shouldn't have been watching tv past 8PM. that's why those rules are there in place. but what kid is tired at 8PM? that's impossible!

wait, I forgot, does Cristiano Ronaldo drive you crazy cos you love him or hate him? is an England/Portugal final possible? if so, I'll hug you through it, mah dahlin *)

Sweeten Dirty said...

Your creativity and witty comments/answers are something I admirer. And coffee stirrers, why didn't I think of those? (Oh, maybe because I wasn't born yet).

the late phoenix said...

sweeten: in the '80s people just used their fingers to stir their coffee, I saw my dad at his computer station at the Dilbert farm do it many a time. back then you could only get sugar in sugarcubes. god i miss the '80s