Sally Quinn handles the arched stick with the intense care of an evil stepmother.
Sally: ah, it's a magnificent magic. and a treacherous tool. takes a timeworn toll. the Sword of Saad, beautifully malleable to fit the user's precepts and preconditions. took us centuries to stumble upon its true power.
the ice princesses beg for forgiveness beforehand.
ice princesses: matron! you were the one who finally broke the cold!
Sally waves the closed circle once and starts to cry from contemplating the enormity of its essence.
Gladyce: please, i need to rest.
Doryce: so Maryknoll? i smelled you there.
Sally: thank you. when i was young and tumble. fucked every last brother in there. that's when i oversatiated overboard and discovered my taste for the females. got it out of my system. and sister standupness was born. never again. though i did have my fun. my demi-dalliances.
ice princesses: your highness, surely you never were young! what we mean to say is, you've always been a beauty!
Sally: please stand up. this is getting to get uncomfortable now. you each have names. revealed shortly.
Gladyce: ...
Sally: please, enter my abode. it's my little castle on the far reaches of this godforsaken world.
Doryce: but we're in the center.
Sally: are we in China? Africa? matters not, my magic will shield us from the horrors of outside. step across and let me regale you with my entertainments.
Doryce: what we need are attunements. my sis here is croaking. not dying surely but actually making the croaking sound. we're old.
Doryce carries her blood friend over the bannister and into a stack of hay in the backroom.
Sally: she will not be disturbed. the cats will lick her eyes to keep them moist as she recovers.
the maidens swirl around Doryce with tiny cups of guava and gin and ginseng which sings.
Doryce: none for me, thanks, i'm driving. on a broom hopefully. brooming. please, don't mind me, get comfortable and continue with the babe blether.
Sally: ah, so you've noticed that we are all blondes. not a requirement, not requisite, but a relishful result nonetheless. allow me to introduce you to my blood sisters, they're like the family i got to choose that i never had, quite delightful: Jamie Gangel, Jo Becker, Rebecca Lowe, Jill Wine-Banks.
Jill: there are others that complete our coven which come and go out of here but we make a spectacular five doncha say?
Rebecca: good enough for the result.
Jo: i'm just here for the cake. i can eat as much as i want.
Jamie: we mustn't forget our comely comrade-in-arms Poppy Harlow.
Sally smiles and waves the sword wand to project an image over the fireplace, the interview.
Sally: i caused our sister to faint that one time on-air of course. was a test. now when i look at that whipsmart Chief Justice Ginsburg, i swell with pride. she's the one whom i think it's okay to break the rule for, she is a shining brown example for all of us in the tribe. she's like a friendly Judge Judy.
Ruth Ginsburg reaches over her last bony hand to rub the interviewer's belly. Poppy Harlow breaks into blushed tears and pulls her head down.
Ginsburg: hush now, girl. the girl inside you will replace me when i croak. the republic will be saved cos you had sex.
the audience laughs. Poppy continues to cry.
Sally: bless. her monk name would have been Bader, that's too perfect.
Jill: pass the wine. and the money obviously.
Sally: cash bills? heavens, i thought you'd learn after three hundred years, Jill. stones. spread stones, man, where it's at, the source. don't go getting a big head thinking you've got run of the place just cos you're older than me.
Jill: bitch, shaddup. i'm not older. wiser, of course..................yeeessssssssssss........don't let my pronounced lisp fool you, i have all the answers, takes time to all come out. you can't trick me, i wrote the loopholes so i could close them. i took down the ultimate grumpy old man so let me reward and let loose my girdle and be a grumpy old woman. bitch in a lawyer skirt, that's what they dubbed me in those days.
Jamie: i believe it. Nixon was hot in a kind of dad way. a tall drink of Watergate.
Jo: pass the golden cupcakes. and the silver cupcakes. and the Juanita's.
Doryce: i can't see the tv with the bristles in front! next you're gonna tell me that's a genuine magic broom hung on the bricks above the fireplace there.
Sally: yes it sure is. it cleans up the flume like magic.
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