Monday, February 8, 2016

TMIT: THAT'S IT










you don't have to be lonely this Valentine's Day. join an orgy.

postgame learned:

* DAMN NATURE YOU CUTE

* if you're dealing with opioids, you have much bigger problems than the bathroom. don't you guys watch Dr. Drew?

* the turf was green, slippery, and made of kryptonite.

* who was that woman who sang the National Anthem so gorgeously?

* "before the National Anthem's over, it's already 14-0 Panthers..."

* Cam didn't go into that pile cos that's not what Superman does. that's more what Batman does.

* the Commercials weren't weird this year, you're just in the weird part of youtube.

* if they wanted to go hard, it should have been Radiohead.

* Beyonce didn't almost fall, she created a new dance move right before our eyes. bow down to your Queen.

* once again the Super Bowl Halftime Show continues the tradition of strange musical combinations that somehow work. Marilyn Manson is joining One Direction as Zayn's permanent replacement. reached for comment, Marilyn Manson wasn't coherent.

* SCOTT BAIO LEARNS THE PAINFUL TRUTH: MAKING GOOD GUACAMOLE IS HARD, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

* every living thing likes Doritos...

* Peyton: one decision i will make right now is to have a Budweiser..........................i'm so happy i'll even let that idiot kicker from the Colts get liquored up with me.

* Eli be like damn you big brother.

1. list 3 benefits of living with your significant other: i don't have to cook, we just eat out, we're always there for each other even when it seems she's invisible, and we can read each other's minds, or maybe i'm hearing voices.

2. have you ever reunited with a past lover and begun a relationship? was it as friends or lovers? reunited and it feels so moderate. platonic love is the noblest of loves. i never get the "just friends" part, being friends is the best. being friends is its own benefit. a friend in need is when you see that friend. remaining friends with your exes is important, they're there to give you advice on your next relationship.

3. do you think someone is more sexy if they regularly read books or regularly work out at the gym? need both. brains and brawn. no pain, no gain. Crime and Punishment is leg day, the Bible is a marathon you'll never complete, and Infinite Jest is tennis, anyone?

4. how likely you think it is that your marriage will end in divorce? π

5. who has more power in your love/romantic relationship, you or your partner? i'm a power bottom, which seems like a contradiction in terms.

bonus: describe the best Valentine's Day you ever had. i was covered in chocolate and eaten by a giant bear.

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2 comments:

Jules said...

I told my psychiatrist I was hearing voices. He said, "You don't have a psychiatrist...." *)

the late phoenix said...

that's disconcerting, my sweet. how did your psychiatrist know to answer you when you addressed him as your psychiatrist if he wasn't your psychiatrist? i think your psychiatrist is playing mind games...*)