Friday, July 31, 2015



* man: i'll have the new turkey thing.
 sandwich artist: okay but i'll let you in on a little secret, turkey's been around for awhile.

* sandwich artist: french bread?
man: use that bottle of salad dressing and squirt my likeness on the bread like one of your French boys.

* sandwich artist: i've seen you before, you stalk the entrance door every morning at 6AM. you must really love this sandwich.
man: i love it more than my family.
sandwich artist: you could become our new spokesman.
man: what happened to the other guy?
sandwich artist: no idea.

* man: OMG i mean you start with that bread like huge fluffy pillowy breaststststs, then the lettuce like long legs, turkey tits, jizz hot like jalapeno, slathered with savory bacon like a big ol' butt, on top of tempting tomato and clit cheese so warm and familiar, finally finishing me off with the guac, it's all about the guac, guac like the 'gina i used to lick in France.
sandwich artist: brah...
man: let me have this, i'm a ginger, this is as good as it gets for me.

* man: this sandwich is my religion.
sandwich artist: no judgment here, i only believe in Zelda.

* woman customer next in line: E.T. phone home.
sandwich artist: what the fuck, lady!
woman customer next in line: no sorry, you're not ugly, i got my movie quotes mixed up.


eat up your weekend


Jules said...

You missed out the French foreskin cheese. I'm disappointed. *)

the late phoenix said...

juli: she was talking about dick cheese but i thought she meant her supervisor Richard Cheese. and then the conversation turned to Smegma, i got excited cos i'm an expert on Transformers *)