Friday, December 18, 2020

ASIAN AUSTRALIAN AWESOMENESS




 






















notes:

* thank you, adult swim, this is all thanks to YOLO: Crystal Fantasy

* Socrates would have been a good interviewer if he had had a mic

* SPOILERS: this is about mics. this isn't really about interviewing...

* would have been cooler if he wasn't riding bitch...

* only eat watermelon lip gloss. Hair Magazine is just for men. positive blood type does not indicate positive personality. you may come to this beach everyday cos you're the janitor...

* the throwing away of the microphone in the trash is his schtick, but he's also recycling and being a conscious steward of the earth

* vanilla, not ivory

* later, Gordon Ramsay will show you how he makes his famous mac n cheese while feeding his cat and his wife at the same time...

* see, he's courteous, his shaggy hair was to make his interviewee dog more comfortable...

* what's something you would never say?

that really is brilliant...

* grocery-store workers get tattoos to avoid the long lines for scans...

* sprog: Doctor Who villain...

* Trunks had a ponytail, but that wasn't real hair...

* Aaron: btw, is that oatmeal-in-a-cup boysenberry? hey you're the nerd from Big Bang Theory!!! 

* i'm more looking at dudes who have ponytails to see if the chicks who have ponytails are being guarded...

* she doesn't speak English...she speaks Australian...

* i don't believe in body consciousness, it;s a con. i'm speaking to you right now from my life coach's pen...

* the truth matters...my truth...

* Doryce: this is not the interview i was expecting...i was expecting us to fuck then fall in love...and then i'd become tv-famous off this interview and leave you...

* Aaron Chen: would you believe me if i told you i am a cop...

* no he was telling the truth, he honestly doesn't remember

* you're so hot you should be one of those ASMR models...

* Aaron looking like Gandhi at the Ganges...

* i was walking in fields of gold...

* babe: i watch Tom and Jerry...
Aaron: what's your favorite line?
babe: the angel heaven line...oh you mean from the cartoon...when Tom yells...
Aaron: like what you'll do when i look at your ass...

* Aaron to Kill Bill chick: that's Uma Thurman's dog, isn't it? you stole Uma Thurman's dog. that dog is needed on the Princess Mononoke set...not you! we'll get another Princess Mononoke!...

* what's this about? always helicopters. wearing socks is not professional...wearing only socks...

* microphones made out of abandoned S&M tools...

* Aaron: i don't want show business anymore. i want to fish. i want to join a circus...

* Bruce Lee had that same dream. i had that same dream, except Meghan Markle was on the other end. this is unreleased footage of Breath of the Wild 2...there's an Air Colossus in the game that's just a helicopter...

* me: i'd do ANYTHING for bird flu right now...
Mike Tyson: same.

* Aaron: yeah yeah yeah well well well you're just a chad surfer who gets all the chicks. i bet you had ALL the mermaids from H2O: Just Add Water, huh? one of those mermaids was my sister! cos of you she wants legs again! 

* hey, ego-death is real. ego-death is the only way to be happy...no, seriously...

* Aaron: i wanted to be a priest...

* Aaron: have you ever been in a long-distance relationship?
guy: uh, yes. it was with you, Aaron, remember?
Aaron: oh yeah i forgot...

* Aaron: i'm pondering at this pond. this little girl is my sister...she wants to have mermaid legs again...oh audience! fooled ya! i actually AM an Olympic-level breakdancer heading to Tokyo 2021!...

* the microphone was the real star of this show...

* MC Aaron Chen, has a nice ring to it...

* Aaron: is that your horse? what's his name?
man: i'm a hippie so the horse has no name...


happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: TRIPLE TREAT BOX from Pizza Hut!!!!! two pizzas, breadsticks, and 

CINNABON!!!!!!!!!!

all in a giant Christmas-present box! a prezzie box!

one problem: Pizza Hut doesn't have any brick n mortar stores anymore...





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