notes:
* thank you, adult swim, this is all thanks to YOLO: Crystal Fantasy
* Socrates would have been a good interviewer if he had had a mic
* SPOILERS: this is about mics. this isn't really about interviewing...
* would have been cooler if he wasn't riding bitch...
* only eat watermelon lip gloss. Hair Magazine is just for men. positive blood type does not indicate positive personality. you may come to this beach everyday cos you're the janitor...
* the throwing away of the microphone in the trash is his schtick, but he's also recycling and being a conscious steward of the earth
* vanilla, not ivory
* later, Gordon Ramsay will show you how he makes his famous mac n cheese while feeding his cat and his wife at the same time...
* see, he's courteous, his shaggy hair was to make his interviewee dog more comfortable...
* what's something you would never say?
that really is brilliant...
* grocery-store workers get tattoos to avoid the long lines for scans...
* sprog: Doctor Who villain...
* Trunks had a ponytail, but that wasn't real hair...
* Aaron: btw, is that oatmeal-in-a-cup boysenberry? hey you're the nerd from Big Bang Theory!!!
* i'm more looking at dudes who have ponytails to see if the chicks who have ponytails are being guarded...
* she doesn't speak English...she speaks Australian...
* i don't believe in body consciousness, it;s a con. i'm speaking to you right now from my life coach's pen...
* the truth matters...my truth...
* Doryce: this is not the interview i was expecting...i was expecting us to fuck then fall in love...and then i'd become tv-famous off this interview and leave you...
* Aaron Chen: would you believe me if i told you i am a cop...
* no he was telling the truth, he honestly doesn't remember
* you're so hot you should be one of those ASMR models...
* Aaron looking like Gandhi at the Ganges...
* i was walking in fields of gold...
* babe: i watch Tom and Jerry...
Aaron: what's your favorite line?
babe: the angel heaven line...oh you mean from the cartoon...when Tom yells...
Aaron: like what you'll do when i look at your ass...
* Aaron to Kill Bill chick: that's Uma Thurman's dog, isn't it? you stole Uma Thurman's dog. that dog is needed on the Princess Mononoke set...not you! we'll get another Princess Mononoke!...
* what's this about? always helicopters. wearing socks is not professional...wearing only socks...
* microphones made out of abandoned S&M tools...
* Aaron: i don't want show business anymore. i want to fish. i want to join a circus...
* Bruce Lee had that same dream. i had that same dream, except Meghan Markle was on the other end. this is unreleased footage of Breath of the Wild 2...there's an Air Colossus in the game that's just a helicopter...
* me: i'd do ANYTHING for bird flu right now...
Mike Tyson: same.
* Aaron: yeah yeah yeah well well well you're just a chad surfer who gets all the chicks. i bet you had ALL the mermaids from H2O: Just Add Water, huh? one of those mermaids was my sister! cos of you she wants legs again!
* hey, ego-death is real. ego-death is the only way to be happy...no, seriously...
* Aaron: i wanted to be a priest...
* Aaron: have you ever been in a long-distance relationship?
guy: uh, yes. it was with you, Aaron, remember?
Aaron: oh yeah i forgot...
* Aaron: i'm pondering at this pond. this little girl is my sister...she wants to have mermaid legs again...oh audience! fooled ya! i actually AM an Olympic-level breakdancer heading to Tokyo 2021!...
* the microphone was the real star of this show...
* MC Aaron Chen, has a nice ring to it...
* Aaron: is that your horse? what's his name?
man: i'm a hippie so the horse has no name...
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: TRIPLE TREAT BOX from Pizza Hut!!!!! two pizzas, breadsticks, and
CINNABON!!!!!!!!!!
all in a giant Christmas-present box! a prezzie box!
one problem: Pizza Hut doesn't have any brick n mortar stores anymore...
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