notes:
* no not the Cosentyx commercial
* ah, "Time After Time", that music video makes me cry every time...it makes me cry time after time...
* two cars parked on the edge of the public school just skirting the chainmail:
junk car: hi. Mr. Holland! are you working on a new Opus?
Buick: um, you're not supposed to see me! i have to stay a few steps behind your daughter at all times. please just take your tuba and go see the substitute.
* mom: excuse me, where's the school?
bellboy: Degrassi?
mom: fuck The New Class! Degrassi ended when it ended on Nickelodeon!
* bellboy: may i take your coat?
mom: how DARE you, young man! do you think i'm a milf? don't answer that question! where's my daughter! you're keeping her here against her will!
bellboy: no it's just you can't enter if you're five minutes late.
mom: have you heard of WORKING, son! this concert sucks anyway! wake me up when Rush gets on stage!
* mom: daughter, you are a musical savant! i love that you play the cello. it's just, you're developing muscles from carrying around that thing.
daughter: mom i thought you were progressive.
mom: it's cool it's cool it's just you can beat me up now, you know?
daughter: would you prefer it if i took up the violin?
mom: yes.
daughter: *pinkie* that'll be 1 MILLION DOLLARS.
mom: that better come wth tea!
daughter: spill the tea, sis.
* mom: how was school?
daughter: it was school.
mom: why are there spider cobwebs on all the school windows?
daughter: it's Halloween. and it's not Halloween. why are we in your junk Volvo in the middle of an instersection at 3AM at night overlooking a Los Angeles highway? i am freaked out by this, mom, i'd rather be home doing homework!
mom: i just had a craving for a donut, that's all. and some bail bonds.
daughter: mom, you're causing a scene. they're honking at you.
mom: i know i'm hot.
* realtor: so you will never be able to afford a house, apartment only till you die.
mom: i know. that's a cool blue binder you have there.
realtor: us women need to stick together.
mom: um, can i keep this blue book? i can still dream of cars, right?
* mom: take in the groceries, daughter.
daughter: you don't know my name, do you?
mom: your instrument doesn't count. only carrots and celery.
* mom: do you like Roger Rabbit?
daughter: no i swear!
mom: are you sure?
daughter: where'd you get that calendar?
mom: i have a friend named Brett.
daughter: Manhattan?
mom: that's some Watchmen shit.
* daughter: OMG. what is this? did i get in? no i mean what is this? a letter? what's that? they said i can go but i CAN'T WEAR MY PINK JEANS!!!???
mom: you show them, daughter. you be a rebel. you slither onto that campus your first day in PINK HAIR!!!...
* daughter: mom, i used the trash can today. the real trash can, not the little icon on my computer.
mom: why? i found something deeply disturbing in your room.
daughter: what?
mom: a Smashing Pumpkins poster, for their new 2019 tour. they haven't been good since Infinite Sadness. i found something deeply disturbing on your computer.
daughter: porn? which is our generation's sex ed.
mom: no, your acceptance letter! how DARE you! when were you gonna tell me?
daughter: we're poor mfs. i just figured i'd have to wait till Ivanka became President.
mom: *tears* i still have this car so you CAN afford to go.
daughter: *tears* thank you, mom. but what are you gonna do?
mom: i'm gonna walk everywhere from now on.
daughter: that's good, you fat.
CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: the new pretzel bun from Burger King. i'm not celebrating, i'm not counting my chickens, that's why no Burger King breakfast sandwich with egg. i figure this could be a tribute. to that story i did on pretzels…
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