THE INVISIBLE

notes:

* we see you...but your crush doesn't...

* not that weird commercial where the animatronic dog talks about collecting your sample easily

* doggy slippers? it's forbidden to have fun OUTSIDE in today's world!

* Bianca: dog, no! that was the dryer lint ball!
dog: don't you play tennis or something, lady? aren't you a WASP?
Bianca: i wish i could fly out of here. and suck out oranges with my butt. all these pictures of you hanging up on the walls is creepy.
dog: you did it!
Bianca: that's the thing, i didn't!

* Duane: i'm doing the Ferris Bueller check thing. got my eyebrows waxed so now i don't have eyebrows.
narrator: hot date?
Duane: yeah.
narrator: got your zoot suit from Amazon Prime?
Duane: oh yeah! all pressed and waxed.
narrator: what's with the lemon soap?
Duane: that's the thing, it wasn't lemon. i feel sick in my stomach but at least i won't curse on the first date as usual.

* narrator: the Allison from Breakfast Club?
Alison: 1 L.
narrator: what's your favorite cereal sandwich?
Alison: bread sandwich. i use two pillows of Shredded Wheat as the bread.
narrator: you have an old-skool tv screen that i'm guessing hipster that you are you never watch on.
Alison: and a set of encyclopedias. a physical set. stop staring at my tits, i have to pay my taxes and i lost the concert stub.
narrator: i have a stub. no really i do. your room is all quaint and mad-scientisty, like The Cat's Car from Infinity Train.
Alison: would you like a cup of tea?
narrator: there's no room in here for another spot.

* Shauna: you know how i get everything done? i have three arms.
narrator: you are the budget lady. for this shot.
Shauna: sure arm i mean am. and all of your lines have been cut from the commercial. budget.

* Sarah: i just had a baby. but that's not my problem.
narrator: *phew*
Sarah: i hate the color yellow...

* Bob: whatever you do, 1-800-Contacts, do NOT make fun of the gaming community! we've suffered enough humiliating shit from the MSM! we don't need any more potshots at us! there are some good people in this community, we're just a little awkward and tend to lose friends fast.
narrator: would you like to come work for us at MSNBC? we're the only ones broadcasting your little video-game tournament this weekend. ESPN Ocho refused.
Bob: dammit!

* Mike: so i haven't fixed a bike right in 30 years. since contacts haven't been invented yet. and yet i still nailed my audition for Mayans and got the part.

* Helen: don't stare at me. don't you snicker at me. i'm the relative who voted the way you didn't but you're still stuck with me cos i'm family and you still have to visit my smelly house and trade doilies with me and eat my dusty caramel squares that taste like butterflies from my musty moonshine jar that's clear.
narrator: okay but can we at least watch Mary Hartman Mary Hartman on your mini tv?

CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

THEN HERE

AND THEN HERE

happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: Carl's Jr.. for some reason when you cut up chicken in the shape of little stars, they taste better.