Monday, March 12, 2018


1. do you have a special place you like to have sex regularly? a church. if the church is closed, i find a supermarket. the supermarket's always open.

2. what's the hardest thing you've ever done? the scariest? my penis. writing again seriously after 20 years, a layoff hiatus not of my own choosing, a period of time in my life when i was alternating between clouded confusion and foggy fire, i was thinking i was either gonna die or go crazy or both. like that new Soderbergh Unsane. Soderbergh introduced me to Sasha Grey, well really did. legend has it that at the premiere screening of sex, lies, and videotape at Sundance in the frozen seats Clint Eastwood stood up in the middle and declared, "THIS is the kind of nuanced indie shit i should be directing and starring in! this is the new age of subtle filmmaking!" y'know just having something to do regularly is a small leap forward toward bracing for betterment and the sane use of butter again.

3. are you annoying? TYPE IN MY NAME HERE AND CHECK

4. a person whom you've had "the hots" for for a very long time tells you they are super-attracted to you. you spend a few hours together and the sexual attraction is overwhelming. you are dying to have this person as your lover. at the moment you are highly aroused, and he/she wants to have sex with you in a church. would you do it?

this happened to me like it was yesternight. it's funny cos when i told him i had the hots for him, he just smiled at me devilishly. we spent the prayer time dusting off our knees, getting our knees into position, and picking out the waxiest candles. i used the purple altar-boy sash, he used his cleft toe. i showed him a particularly cute candle in a glass of the painted cross, he said my candle was wack. when i told him a church is a sacred place and shouldn't be defiled so, he just smiled at me devilishly.

have i told you about the time i had the hots for Satan?...

5. while in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you? CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

sorry i read that as sequel like a dolphin. only if she has a dolphin-safe tuna.

bonus: are you good in bed? CLICK HERE AND CHECK THE LYRICS


links-o-rama this week


Indie said...

Love it! Watch out for the 'sane' nets!

the late phoenix said...

those nets hurt the dolphins, our soles, and our souls. Indi! it’s been a minute. how are you, my friend?