WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A GIRL

learned:

* i can't really write on this.

* i am contractually obligated to write on all the phoenix things.

* great grandmother: hello, great granddaughter. are you listening to me? do you know how much i sacrificed for you? say something.
baby: goo goo gah gah
great grandmother: men don't like when girls do the baby voice anymore.
baby: can you change my diaper?
great grandmother: you have to learn to be independent.

* you may never know me. for i am going to Heaven.

* little girl: i hate hospitals.
*bombing*
little girl: i didn't mean it!

* young lady: mom, what's going on out there? why do we have to hole up in a bomb shelter?
mom: it's just the adults playing hide-and-go-seek, dear.

* immigration officer: papers.
girl hands him her teddy bear.
girl: you have to let me in the country.
immigration officer: and why is that?
girl: cos you're my grandpa. i can stay, you can't.

* reel-to-reel is still the best tech. cleanest sound.

* young woman: mom wanted me to put my nose to the grindstone and hit the books. but i put my nose in other things and took hits of other substances. ain't that right, teddy?
teddy bear: i saw the whole thing.
young woman: NOW I WANT TO DANCE!!!

* young woman: when they were out of a book at the library, i wrote my own. i was always self-sufficient.

* woman: i don't understand. being a cleaners is a noble profession in my country. only the nobles have cleaners.
coworker gal pal: we're like Laverne & Shirley on the assembly line.
woman: i get that reference. here is my dirty glove on your bottle. you shouldn't be drinking at work.
coworker gal pal: that's a cute powder-blue outfit.
woman: i'm studying to work at Mel's Diner. i learned English watching Alice.

* 30s woman: what's this called?
boss: a cubicle.
30s woman: in my country these are called troll farms. we have a lot of fun in my country.

* 30s woman: what's this called?
boss: a computer.
30s woman: do i need to learn how to use it?
boss: no. in the future we'll just have ipads.

* boss: join me for drinks?
30s woman: no thanks. i drink water. i'll drink the rain outside.

* office worker: WHOA! who's the milf?
 older woman: i'm your new boss. dammit, i thought my skirt was long enough.

* older woman: where do i put this box?
office workers: we can't use that term in the workplace.

* baby: so apparently you're actually my mother.
great grandmother: i spent so much time laser-focused on getting ahead i forgot how i had fun.

* great grandmother: so, my great granddaughter, what have you decided to become?
great granddaughter: i want to play video games for a living.
great grandmother: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

happy weekend, my babies. don't go out tonight. it's pretty perfect that there's a Friday the 13th in Halloween Month.