TMIT: BLOWIN' UP ON TWITTER...WHO GIVES A SHIT?!...

1. to spice things up in the bedroom, how adventurous are you willing to be?

a) virgin b) i want to try something scripted, i want to act and ultimately direct c) got my feet wet like my new cat, want more d) dive in head first like a scuba motherfucker

d, anytime you're a scuba motherfucker, you're winning.

2. what scenario piques your interest?

a) sensual b) playful c) kinky and hoarding, i want it all!

when i role-play, my imagination is so deep i literally lose myself in the woods, need a busty woodcarver's daughter to help me out. i'm not a hoarder, that's one good thing happening for me in my solitary room.

3. what's your ideal fantasy setting?

a) brothel b) dungeon c) bedroom d) prison cell

COMBINE LIKE VOLTRON: brothel is the head, dungeon and bedroom are the arms, and the motherfucking silver shining sword is the prison cell. i always wanted to do anal, but not in a dusty cell. then again, i got the brothel as a pre-dinner aperitif, the dungeon to get my nerd on with some D + D, and a nice fluffy blankie on my soft bed to lie on before the prison rape. anyone else humming the Tool song?

4. toys?: a) feather and whipped cream b) handcuffs, panty hose, and necktie c) whips and chains d) ice cubes and a cold beer

whipped cream goes well with my apple pie, no feathers, i had a friend who actually died by being tickled to death, Mexican Necktie?, no thank you, those hurt, whips and chains are so medieval-dungeon ago, Ice Cube, bah, Ice Cube is being sensitive lately in those commercials, he claims no one is Colder than he, but i am, i'm cool.

5. how will you rock your lover's world?: no lover, but okay: a) the Jersey Whore, i pretend i'm Snooki, no wait, you be Snooki, we smush, i go to the gym, and MTV pays for everything. b) kinky cook, i'm the Swedish Chef Muppet, you order a hamburger, i get insulted, and then the angry sex heats up. c) naughty maid, your feather duster will dust off my creaky bones and, no, sorry, that's played-out d) Doctor Love, head-to-toe examination...so, it's the adult version of playing doctor? maybe if it were Dr. Gregory House e) frisky fireman, dude's got a HOSE longer than California, which is needed to put out those California wildfires.

my answer: e, obviously.

bonus: tell us about your wildest or raunchiest role-playing adventure: FINALLY, we get to talk about my RPG video games and LARPing and such, real geek stuff...i remember this one time when i was using my lightning bolt attack on this dude, i was going CRSFHHHHH CRSFFGHH CRRSDDHH on him out there in the woods, in the clearing, we were playing like we were wizards, sworn enemies, tryin' to get back the crown...needed some juice boxes in the middle there but it was still a good battle.

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