TMIT: CAN A MAN AND WOMAN TRULY JUST BE FRIENDS? THE ANSWER, MY JUST FRIEND, IS BLOWING IN THE BLOW

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE JUST FRIEND! banjo, music, sweet songs for the morn, that's what i meant, strings being plucked and sucked, your strings being plucked...

1. have you ever had a friendship with someone where you secretly (or not so secretly) desired them? yes, and that is why i blog. desire guides me, enters me, controls me, i type because i desire, i desire to have the one that got away all those years ago, each word i type is precious, for it could be my last, the blow could decide to work deadly on me this time, so i hope with each breath and with each word typed that i reach my beloved, the woman i desire the most, the blogger, the soul mate, my missing piece, my friend, *puts fist on heart*

2. are you prone to suspicion, jealousy, or insecurity when your partner spends time with an attractive close friend without you? why? no partner, no friends, no attractive close friends, though strangely, i do have a pen-pal buddy who is attractive but not in the conventional sense, old bingo ladies desire him from afar, that's it, that's his only demographic. also, he's a he, so there's no sexual tension when we pen-pal each other, though we did fuck in college. i'm suspicious, jealous, and insecure about my writing style, i feel that it's just not good enough.

3. has a previously-platonic friendship ever blossomed into a sexual relationship? no, damnit, i wanted it to, if it had, you wouldn't now know me, i'd be in the Riviera blowing my winnings on blow and gash. then again, i wouldn't be as sensitive to my own feelings and other bloggers' feelings as i am now, so, y'know, everything happens for a reason. again, i don't like to rehash the whole blonde drama student episode in my life over and over, if you really want to read about it, it's in a post here at this blog somewhere, near the start of this blog, a year or so ago, something like that, i can't tell time anymore, one week ago might as well be one decade ago, all the years just kinda melt together for me into one black line, i still write my checks "1995", it's still time for me to check out the new episode of DUCKTALES on channel 7 at 3PM this afternoon in the Disney Block.

4. have you ever remained close friends with an ex-lover? hello? is anybody out there? i'm dying over here. no, no, all of my ex-lovers hate me, they say i ruined their lives, and they are correct. i'm out of crackers, i need my munchies, the doctor says i need my salt crackers or i get imbalanced, need to maintain that salt level, turns out the pills he prescribed never achieved what a few salt crackers could...

bonus: have you ever developed feelings for a friend with benefits? how did it develop, unfold, resolve? i'll say it for the umpteenth time: the Perfect relationship between a man and a woman is the friend with benefits route, both parties get the sex, and both remain friends 'cause they don't have to marry or go steady and put up with all that wedding/marriage drama and relationship drama. trust me, it's true, i've learned from experience, would i lie to you? this works, burn all of your other self-help books in a small fire on your front lawn and listen to me, this is real, it works. do people say "go steady" anymore? back in the '50s you say? again with the time thing...

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