TMIT: WORN

1. what is your most favourite thing to wear that you have in your closet at the moment? always get jiggy when i see that exotic spelling of favorite: as for closets and such, i came out of the closet one day with a certain raincoat on...

2. what's that one item of clothing you'd steal from one of your workmates if you got the chance? stealing is wrong, it's a sin, unless you live in a homeless shelter like me, then the rules of polite society get thrown out the window, for there are folks dying for a piece of banana out here. i'd probably steal my bag lady girlfriend's scarf, the holes in it bitten off and eaten by rats form a strange divine pattern of circles

3. what's the one thing your lover wears that never fails to turn you on? why? why i say? when she wears her hair all flowing and long and spinning in the wind, and then she starts to twirl around on a grassy hill and her white skirt twirls around with her like you see on tampon commercials...and i get a glimpse underneath her skirt as the skirt lifts up in the twirl as i am wont to do, with me being a pervert and all

4. what's the one thing you wear when you want to attract the attention of your lover or others? i don't have a girlfriend, i'm looking, so any ladies out there, i'm...oh, who am i kidding? this will draw to an end soon, i'm feeling. anyway, the only thing i wear is my confidence with language and words and a smile...oh who am i kidding? i haven't smiled in years, i have the continuous Cobain level lip going on, no matter what happens, i maintain the Cobain. i know, i sound like Eeyore if Eeyore just found out his best Pooh friend just got shot.

5. when you want to feel sexy, what do you wear and why? it's slim pickins at the ol' shelter, but i did manage to sift out a brand new cover page of the New York Times from the trash bin yesterday, so i wear that to cover my private parts, it's the urban Adam leaf, the New York Times makes me look smart, i don't have any glasses, see

6. if you had unlimited funds but could only shop for one type of clothing---shoes, lingerie, fetish wear---what would it be? oh to dream, to dream of winning the lottery and having all the money in the world, diving into a pool of gold coins like one Scrooge McDuck, then all of your relatives come after you after seeing you on tv holding an oversize check and hunt you down until you're broke and dead, that's the life. okay, hear me out: i'd purchase a million dildos...hear me out...okay, 1 million dildos, hear me out...okay, it would be this collection of a million dildos from all around the world, from all cultures and locations, from forbidden countries and some that are strange colors and textures...and i'd, hear me out, i'd give the dildos to charity.

bonus: tell us your favorite scenario, real or imagined, that involves some sort of clothing: AGFI, always go for imaginary, i'm an actor after all, fake trumps real: imagine, my blog friends of air, imagine if you will your humble blog master the late phoenix decked out in nothing but my sweaty pecs, sculpted abs, and an ass so tight you could bounce silver dollars, not quarters, silver fucking dollars, off it and it would bounce back with twice the strength into the next room, imagine how my hair looks, my dirty brown hair, and then imagine my twenty-four-inch cock going all boingy boingy...i look up at the camera and deliver the line: "the Emperor has no clothes, baby!" it's all for you, dear reader, i'm down for whatever, and whomever...shit, i just made myself hot there, i just made myself cum

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