notes:
* Mark Hamill: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!
sorry. i was cringing at my auditon tape...
* Patrick Stewart: be a man, Hamill! order ham! you go with the veggie burger with no tomatoes? how froufrou L.A. can you get?
Mark: i wake up and realize each morning i'm Luke Skywalker. I AM LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER...
* Mark: FINALLY we will know who wins: Star Wars vs. Star Trek, taking all bets.
Patrick: who will win this eternal epic showdown?
Mark: whomever pronounces tomato correctly.
Patrick: it's pronounced tomato. as in Carrie Fisher had some hot buns i slapped into tomatoes.
Mark: it's pronounced tomato. and i would never speak ill of the dead. which means i can't speak ill of you cos you died when you emerged in that Borg suit like Darth Vader...
* Patrick: why do we have sticks? what are these?
Mark: i actually PLAY cricket, old man! i hated The Walking Dead!!! i hate the violence! Han Solo has my lightsaber, he uses it to steer WWII planes...
* Mark: I AM MY DADDY!!!
Patrick: that's like Fry from Futurama being his own grandfather. i'm, like, really into animation...
* Mark: i helped a little handicapped boy and one little girl with a disability feel good about themselves. what have you done?
Patrick: i ate a pizza for the first time in my 100s before i died...…...and only at the urging of a woman, wouldn't have done it otherwise...
* Patrick: plant burger? give me a break.
Mark: in MY future, all the farms exploded. we had to make do.
Patrick: in MY future, you can get food and drink at the push of a button. like literally EVERYTHING is at the push of a button...…...sex, too...
* Mark: i see the future couldn't cure your baldness...
Patrick: DAMMIT WHERE'S CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!? i'm gonna wipe that smug smile off his face with these Vulcan hands! i was the original bald man not him. who does he think he is sporting a Riker beard like that?
happy weekend, my babies.
Uber Eats, i should look into that...
TOMORROW: why Wendy's pub burger of course. the last time i got a pub burger i got carded so i'm taking Patrick Stewart with me instead of Mark Hamill cos Patrick looks like an old man who won't get carded whereas Mark still looks like my cool older brother who sleeps on his galactic surfboard outside and skipped college cos he was smart. plus Patrick looks like he could carry his own in a pub brawl...
i asked both men once why the pub-burger pretzel bun had a cross on it:
Patrick: symbolizes Christianity. i once said God in an actual line of dialogue on Star Trek...
Mark: The Right thinks of The Left as the Empire. it's very dangerous when your thing is one big Campbellian hero-quest symbology archetype. some think Darth Vader is God...
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