notes:
* i can't believe Off the Air hasn't yet done blah blah blah just noise i mean sound
* first vertical video used in Off the Air history...this show isn't elitist, it's a list, it's of the people...
* it's like one of those handheld horror gonzo films but the real horror is what we're doing to the environment. that tsunami is not CGI...
* her: are those your pills on the dresser?
me: depends, how much is that gazebo out there for rent?
her: you know the Real God only understands and speaks Spanish, right? we've been the only loyal ones through the centuries while Europe wavered.
me: wait, God is a clown?
her: think about it, God made us in His image.
me: God was the first garage band?
her: He created music where all there was was a space.
*i turn my phone vertical to catch the clouds*
* don't feed ducks bread
* THIS is why babies come out the womb terrified
* Mike Lazzo: hey guys, i know this is adult swim, we're into that art-at-the-curb that never sells, but we can't use babies as drumsticks. too much of a message.
redditors: is this cos of the Dan Harmon thing?
Lazzo: admittedly is has a good beat.
redditors: this is how all European techno gets made. hot-dog factory and all that.
Lazzo: no wonder they're so mad they're punching babies, take off your black hats in this desert heat!!!
Black Hat Triforce Illuminati Trivago Guy who uses Android and is an android: hey baby, look at my keys! i don't have a use for keys anymore, cars are pollutants and i live inside my head.
Dan Harmon: that poo was as dark as your skin.
* baby: i was never alive. tis but a human machine who never got rebooted...
* Big Ears: hi, i'm that Wallace and Gromit reject who got burned in the fire. ALL of my earwax forms the Earth's clouds.
* Big Ears: i'm okay with the drilling, infrastructure should have been our first priority. okay with the blaring sirens, vote for the Proposition which will let the paramedics have a nice lunch. what i can't stand is the keystroke-tapping. do you know how silly you look placing your finger on a glass screen? typing serves no purpose unless it's texting the kidnappers to let Gromit go.
Russians: this isn't just inane chatter, we're actually doing a hacking job over here.
* that was Nirvana's first drum. and Nirvana's first drummer Chad Channing.
* pink dolphin: i speak in early Nintendo sound-effect music. have you seen my eardrum? it looks like one popped popcorn kernel. hey before anything, scissor that soda plastic ring into nondigestible slivers would ya.
Blue Man Without The Group: sorry bro, i drank too much soda and root beer. it'll cost you 100 bucks for me to find it. and fish it out for you. i may not look it but i'm still a child.
pink dolphin: i had 100 bucks but i lost my wallet weren't you listening? fuck this noise i'm going back to SpongeBob's pineapple house, at least THERE everything is still free, especially fun.
conch: it's dangerous for me to be on land. no more Of The Flies unless it's a Lordess this time.
Blue Man: i may look like Guillermo del Toro with my eye-hands, but this will NOT be a freaky water love story.
* stop hitting yourself...………...in the eyeball-iris, pupil, you know how painful that is? everytime you place your finger on glass, you're poking your own eye out. cos you have a glass eye.
* the first wheel was made at the push of a button
* my sliding lantern lights are up HERE, buddy. don't look at our dicks! we have NO dicks!
* something went wrong today and choir practice will never be the same. it's not the emasculation from trolls, it's that we turned into what we feared the most, WE'RE the trolls now. look away, we're hideous on the inside! hey, stop singing and maybe practice will be called off due to darkness.
* CTHULHU LIVES MATTER
* for Cthulhu, the struggle is real real
* the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Malfunction (all feel like hell)
* hey, it's the worm from Sesame Street!
worm: i've always wanted to be on Monty Python.
Terry Jones: i am God. impressed?
statues on either side: our faces are frozen not in astonishment but because we sniffed too much glue.
Terry Jones: speak in your native tongue, bellydragging commoner! speak in sitar, you worm!
worm: can i come? in? i'm not a mouthbreather, my mouth is in my butt.
Terry Jones: ok. how's it growing in there?
worm: i'm God now. but i need water to maintain my leaves.
Terry Jones: sorry, my jar is clay not water.
faces: so THAT's where the Greek Gazebo went.
* Jim Henson: these were all the "123456789101112" Sesame Street segments Mike Lazzo rejected. you realize entire generations of kids learned their numbers off hippie acid, right?
Dave Hughes: sir, i'd like to shake your hand. if not for you i wouldn't be standing here today making this stuff. i'd be dead. everyone has their drug: women, religion, glue. my drug is Jim Henson.
* bubble tape
CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
happy weekend, my babies. the choice is clear: sanity or chaos. as the world gets less kid-friendly by the plummet i'm struck and starting to feel my mortality more. in my palms and chest. i'm realizing that i'm of the age where i should have had a son by now. but i don't have a son. so i'll go this weekend to Beautiful Boy and cry into my popcorn cos it's sad but i won't be able to relate to it really, you know?
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