AS

learned:

* or Gucci Gondolier

* or Gucci Gold

* babes: why were you gone so long?
Jared Leto: i travel on water. it takes fucking forever to make one delivery.

* the one who rests her head on the shoulder of the other is always the alpha.

* how come when i go to Venice this doesn't happen to me? i can be like the Joker.

* Jared: do you like my tattoos?
babes: we're not looking at your tattoos.
Jared: well that was a waste of money.

* babe 1: i'm getting dizzy spinning in this curtain.
babe 2: let's dance!
babe 1: okay. oh shit more spinning.

* babe 1: you got something in your eye...it's green...
babe 2: *drops fake eyelash in glass of water* thirsty?

* babe 2: how does my perfume smell?
Jared: let's make love. we're both naked and in a European tub.
babe 2: the chemist who designed the perfume says he's gonna troll me on twitter until you give him a shoutout on your next instagram live.

* Jared: oh wow that's my reflection in the water. i'm too busy when i'm on the gondola to see this. yeah i'm pretty hot.

* Jared: why do you wear high heels?
babe 1: to be beautiful.
Jared: you are already beautiful. just by existing. why must society make you lie?
babe 1: i never want to lie to you, my beloved. i promise to tell the truth going forward.
Jared: thank you. so, honestly, how was Suicide Squad?

* Jared: thank you. that was quite the session. you know what i was thinking about just then? we are all the same. despite our differences, men and women are the same. cos we all have butts. in fact every living thing in the universe has a butt.

* Jared: who's paying for the train?
babe 1: i got on the red dress, so...
babe 2: so i gotta pay cos i'm wearing the pants?!

* the one who runs her finger down the back of the other is always the beta.

* Jared: your sister's in town? foursome? not tonight, i'm tired. hard day gondoliering.

* i could watch these filmic high-end-fashion sequences all day. i never want them to end. fashion forever. keep them coming. pause it while i get some caviar and Town House crackers. i used to feel the same way about Judge Judy. i never wanted the cases to end, one after the other, flipping like a rolodex. of course at that time all i had in my pantry was stovetop popcorn and seltzer.

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happy new year! 2017 is a fantasy...