Friday, July 29, 2016



* sweater guy: you're a nice guy. kind. hard worker. so why are you cursed? what did you ever do in a former life to deserve this? they're just fucking games!

* Dr. Mario can't help you, this is real life.

* customer: why are you wearing a green sweater? it ain't Christmas.

* customer: i thought you'd be Japanese.
customer service representative: nobody in business suits plays Nintendo. what did you spill all over your console?
customer: root beer.
customer service representative: why?
customer: i hate root beer.

* customer service representative: it was just the contrast you dumb nerd.
nerd: triggered.
customer service representative: i don't understand. this is the '80s. you want an NES Zapper?

* mother: i put it in port 2.
customer service representative: it won't work if you put it in port 2.
this training video brought to you by the Catholic Church

* i've had her pie. not that good.

* customer service representative: hello. my name is Jim. i'm just selling tapes till i get cast in a soap opera.

* customer: the cartridge doesn't work.
Jim: have you tried blowing it?
customer: how dare you, sir. how dare you.

* Jim: you're gonna need a Cleaning Kit.
customer: how much are they?
Jim: um.........uh.........a million dollars.
customer: okay i'll get one.
Jim: great, thanks.

* sweater guy: Nintendo has all the answers to your problems.
Phoenix: what of the problem of evil?
sweater guy: do you like my sweater?

* sweater guy: see this NES Zapper? i can't sell these anymore. this is what happens when you don't vote.

* sweater guy: we're in the entertainment business..............not gambling..........not associated in any way with DraftKings or FanDuel.......


happy weekend

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