TMIT: CONDOM-CON INTERNATIONAL

1. why have you not done that thing you've been dreaming about for so long? cos then it wouldn't be a dream, it'd be a reality and reality sucks. btw my dream is to be the paper merchant of a small chain of stationery shops stocked with perfumed stationery. i want to get people writing letters again. and then we'll do the whole Lay's thing where fans send in what type of smell they want next on the paper. currently our biscuits-and-gravy paper is selling like hotcakes. hotcakes is our next smell. i'm coming for you, David Brent.

2. would you take advice from a porn star? if yes, what type? yes, from Sasha Grey, my all-time favorite. i just want to write/be in a cool indie atmospheric cinema verite like The Girlfriend Experience. when i ask for a GE, most think i'm talking about electricity. i am but not the kind they think.

3. what is the sexiest thing about your boss? that he's me. i move up the corporate ladder every night with my boss. hehe, we're under the covers together right now...

4. name something you need for a foursome (and i'm not talking about golf): three gilfs and i'm set. i slowly sexily fold out that beige folding table and get to business. we start off with a little fourplay foreplay and then right into the bridge boinking before ending with the 'core canasta copulation.

5. what is the brand of condoms currently at home or on your person? the brand where you tie the ribbon around your penis to keep it small i mean snug. love 'em, so cute.

bonus: tell us a sex act/behavior you simply will not do. why? trees. i love trees. i hug trees. and i smoke tree. but...y'know...we're just friends.

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