TMIT: THE COMMERCIALS SUCKED

that's just the knee-jerk reaction EVERY single blogger in the world types the Monday morning after the Super Bowl. most did, but actually, there were a few my brain smiled upon. well, the prolonged suckling kiss between the hot Bar model and the nerd is of course a favorite of mine, me having some nerd blood in me, at least in the past. and now in the present. that Audi prom one, i'm not sure whether it's celebrating loner independence or showcasing sexual assault, but i'll side with the loner angle. my prom: lonely prom, no date, no last prom dance, last HS memory, no prom in fact, that sort of thing, loners unite!, that's an oxymoron. i know Beyonce for her sex factor, and a little bit of her music, but i have to say, i never really listened to her music before, so that was nice. art is about art, after all, never about sex. boy, but that Beyonce leather dress, it showcased all the right curves. i agree with Carol, the winner of the night is the Paul Harvey farmer spiel: serene, measured, profound, God creating a farmer to till his Creation, i never knew i could mind-orgasm over the simple concept of farming, but i did let loose...maybe the farming life is for me after all, maybe i'll give the monks another shot, another call...and THAT is the rest of the story.

oh yeah, that is some erotic furniture right there, i want that ass table in my ripped-up-by-the-cat living place, i want some more EROTIC FURNITURE, CLICK HERE AT THIS LINK.

1. did you buy your bed in terms of ropes, handcuffs fittings and spaces? i only buy anything that has sex value, otherwise, what's the point?

2. aside from the bed, was sex a consideration when buying pieces of furniture? if it's not shaped like a woman's pert ass, i don't bother.

3. have you ever had someone, like your friend or mom, tell you a piece of furniture of yours was inappropriate? they wouldn't be friends of mine if they did. i mean, who does that? as for my mom, you can't choose family, she constantly berates me about my life decisions, who i'm dating, the perverted chairs i buy, the type of Orange Juice i drink...if it's not Donald Duck, she disowns me.

4. any furniture of yours that is stained with bodily fluids, baby vomit not included? no baby vomit? *sad face* i do, i do, a mirror showered with cum, it's cleaner now, i can see, it's a crisper mirror, shiny, my stuff works better than that toxic blue window-cleaning fluid.

5. anything on your bedside table you wouldn't want Mom and Pops knowing about? Mom and Pops want me to be happy, that's what they tell me over the phone anyway, so i assume my extensive collection of Garbage Pail Kids fits that guideline. RIP Dad, i love you.

6. own any exercise equipment that's useful for sex? i don't exercise and i eat terribly, but i'm still a skinny minnie. take that, jealous girls! i want my favorite blogger (you know who you are) to visit me one day, we can don matching exercise clothes, headbands, leotards, the whole nine, and then we'll slowly take off our clothes piece by piece as we reach each exercise milestone, 1 mile for this, 5 miles until the headband, until all that's left to do is fuck like hamsters on the speeding treadmill...we'll certainly look like hamsters as we fuck on that conveyor belt.

7. aside from the Master Bedroom, where do you fuck most often? garage.

8. do you have any electronics (TV, stereo, etc.) that are on during sex? other than my trusty Nintendo grey box from the '80s, no, i like to have a permanent nostalgia arrow through my heart as i boing-boing up and down, back and forth, sweating, exhaling, moaning and fucking the fuck outta my babe and thinking of Duck Hunt and Luigi.

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY

.