TMIT: UH, YES...I'M FROM CALIFORNIA...I'M NORMAL

HOLLYWOOD! it's so much fun to work in Hollywood! *singing and humming rest of song* oh, yes, my Hollywwod dreams will come true, i won't end up another statistic, mark my words, my writing will make me famous and not another famous statistic. old Hollywood, the glamour, the dames...and, y'know, there's also the porn industry there, too, so...yeah, just in case as a second option.

tons of celebrity sex tapes have been made available to the public, through devious means or otherwise. have you taken a gander at any of these?: Pamela Anderson/Bret Michaels...Paris Hilton and that Solomon kid...Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, the grand-daddy of them all, the Rose Bowl Sex Tape...Kim K and Ray J, the one i so desperately wished had a nice cumshot ending...and Kendra Wilkinson and some lucky dude named Frye's Electronics...have i seen these? all of them? that's like asking if a Smurf's butt is blue. it's me, my babies, it's me, the late phoenix, of course i've seen these, i live and breathe for these.

all about sex photography and video:

1. did you ever pose for pictures of a sexual nature, or photograph a lover? IN-N-OUT BURGER, that famous Cali joint, Monday and Wednesday nights, no charge if you come with the ducketts, out in the parking lot, ROW C-3

2. did you keep said pics private amongst yourselves or did you share the pics with the world? share, yes, the world, no...my cat saw them.

3. did any of them ever get out in public with embarrassing results? let's just say that i am a laughingstock in the feline community, they all know where my pimples lie, i can't go out to buy milk anymore, the milk i use to coax them back to my favor, i leave a little pink saucer of milk by my doorstep, those kitties are so cute when they're lapping up the milk with their little tongues like that.

4. were you ever videotaped having sex? once, in college, all of the good and the bad of my life now stems from my college experience, in case you're new to me here.

5. if so, was the tape ever made public? i suspect a black cat.

6. were you ever photographed or taped without your knowledge? no, i'm pathetic, i just want to be seen as a base sexual object by someone, ANYONE!!!

bonus: post a picture of a body part: DOES NIPPLE COUNT? simply go below to any of my SSS posts at my blog here, click on the front image, and stare at my wondrous nipple for eternity.

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