Monday, July 2, 2012


PIC 1 FROM TOP: there is a joy in streaking, that's what the caption said, i'm suddenly getting interested in the political process again.

2: being the roomie who doesn't get any can be tricky, do you smolder with jealousy or do your homework?

8: the sexiest part of this pic? the wheat thins

11: the pained face of my Mom the second she found out she conceived me

12: i may be a bloggy loser, but at least i haven't reached douchebag level...yet...pray for me

13: okay, this was the drama on Saturday. Karen and i were gettin' down all hard and sloppy per usual when all of a sudden...

14: ...Karen's fucked-up roommate Sue arrives bent on destroying me for that bad grass scam i laid on her, real grass, not pot...

15: what Sue fails to realize is that i especially get off on being whacked with a pool cue, so...btw, those tennis shoes that Karen kept on wearing during the fucking made me hot in a kind of sporty way.

1. have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the opposite sex without anything steamy happening? that is a physical impossibility in my case, when all else fails, the water stored in my body is used to make steam, we're talking here only in the most extreme conditions, like if my babe and i are traveling in a desert with no water, just mirages.

2. have you ever streaked, flashed, or otherwise partially or totally exposed yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of people? if the gathering is official, do you get bonus streaking points? i streaked at a gathering, The Gathering, before we all drank our sippie cups of Kool Aid and boarded that exclusive space ship which existed only in our Chosen minds, the one which traveled to Home in Space. none of my other fellow cult members were paying attention to my nakedness, they were all too busy concentrating on that attention whore Our Supreme Leader, the dude with the sickly face and white hair who came on our cubicle tv screens every once in a while to spit out our directions. man that guy was annoying. i never flew in space, apparently my drink was spiked with sugar, not death.

3. have you ever had dates with multiple people on the same weekend (or consecutive nights or the same night) while not all of your dates were aware of your actions? sure, this is known in the business as the SITCOM DATE, or The Three's Company, with me, your loyal blog-writer phoenix, assuming the role of one Mr. Jack Tripper. i keep Janet and Chrissy in their lesbian dance in my room, lock the door and swallow the key, while i entertain my first date, the bendy yoga instructor who exposed her butt in New York (Alec Baldwin) in the living room. after tripping over the living-room couch, i am Tripper after all, i race down the stairs to the Regal Beagle and simultaneously entertain my second date, Mr. Furley, with spirits and pretzels...*in the Mr. Furley voice: SMOOTH*

4. what is the most "romantic" you've ever gotten in a movie theater? i believe Alanis Morissette has covered this, but while i was being downed upon by my lovely babe, i fed her Mike N Ikes, that's her favorite, so i feel i participated in the overall cumming, y'know, i provided her fuel...

5. have you ever had sex when you knew a non-participating adult was watching? Mom: no, everyone else: yes, Mom: okay




Jack and Jill said...

Funny, I thought Jill was the only one who used Mike 'n' Ikes for that purpose.


the late phoenix said...

jj: did you hear? Mike left Ike, or Ike left Mike, or Mike left Mike, or there was a sex change or cloning

Mrs. M said...

I hate Mike 'n' Ikes. Yuk. I do however love the idea of Alanis in a theater. She's kinda hot for an angry chic.

SassyCat3000 said...

Passing through via TMI..You had me cracking up with the whole Mike & Ike thing!

What a cool way to put it "Sitcom date" your answer to that was funny!

KaziG said...

I vote for grape...

Was giggling insanely at your run of pics... and then your commentary killed me completely! Funeral tomorrow... ;)

~Kazi xxx

the late phoenix said...

M: yeah, actually, my thing is Hot Tamales, i could eat those forever, though i'd rather eat hot Alanis

cat: Jack Tripper is my life coach...for tripping

kazi: RIP kazi ;), but hey, that's how i want to go: dying of laughter