TMIT: SLEEP IS GOOD

so cold, it's so cold, i'm so fucking cold...oh, *closes window*

y'know, folks, sleep really does work wonders on the body. this last Sunday Morning (Maroon 5), i wasn't as agitated and knee-jerk reactionary when my carefully-crafted youtube comment wasn't responded to by my youtube "friend". it was a double whammy, it hurt twice, because i regarded that comment to be one of my most brilliant. i'm used to being ignored and never acknowledged on youtube, but not with that comment, come on, i worked hard on that one, i dropped sweat thinking that one up. i had had a nice long good-night's-rest the night before, so my cells were calm, my mind was unusually clear and strong and not swayed by my usual flights of emotive fancy, it was quite remarkable. sleep: who needs pills?

1. when was the last time you or a loved one had their prostate checked? loved one, *starts to cry*, don't have one of those :(

2. besides a medical professional, how many other people have had their finger up your ass? the world...it's someone else's world, not mine, and everyone, including me, is living in it. like it's Lebron's or Federer's or Corgan's world. also, yeah, i could have gone with the answer "opinions" here, as in "opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one." that's especially true now with the dawn of this whole internet thing where everyone has a blog and spouts off the type 24/7.

3. have you ever given or received a prostate massage? was it pleasurable? did you cum? i always cum, but for different reasons. yesterday, it was 'cause of the sun, the warm rays of the sun affects my body so. this morning, it was 'cause of the sun, but 'cause of the majestic beauty of the sun, my poet's sensibilities cummed. prostate massage, huh? man, i am so out of the loop, i guess i live under a rock, i actually live below Rock, the white rock, 30 Rock...man, i need to read a book...

4. do you enjoy anal play: rimming, fingering, penetration? ummmmmmmm...fingering as in knitting a holiday-themed glove for Crimbus? that's slang, right? "fingering" is producing the "fingers" of a glove, huh?

5. ever had anal sex? i tried once at a street corner, the guy thought i was asking about the Annals of Rome, we had quite the conversation about mathematics, homosexuality, and the lost art of letter-writing. i'm not gay, but i was happy after that.

6. you're about to swim down the ol' chocolate hole---or have anal sex, which is the medical term---do you choose a finger up the arse, prostate stimulator/massager, or penis, either real or strap-on? all of them, and none of them. gotta go with PENIS, that is such a perfect word, it speaks to all of our collective human fears, dreams, and wants with just the one word, it's the perfect one-word response to ANY video on youtube, ANY video, i see it all the time in the comments section, it's the response which always gets the most thumbs-ups: PENIS

bonus: show us your Movember stache? post a photo of you. i can't do that!!! i'd blow my cover!!! but i can assure you, i am wearing a nice burly Movember stache presently...

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LET ME JUST PULL OUT MY WEATHER VANE...

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TNH: THE WARMTH LINE

*CLICKY CLICKY*

click above to read my palm for #3 of 4. adult swim recently ended the run of the brilliant anime Casshern Sins, check it out. i give it the late phoenix stamp of approval so you're not wasting your time with this one, i won't give away the long process of going through each episode finding your way out of the maze of surreal walls and life lessons along this apocalyptic, robotic, philosophic journey, but i guarantee you will feel fulfilled afterwards, you'll cry your heart out and read more books on robotics, philosophy...and The Apocalypse.

AFTER CLICKING THE PIC OF CASSHERN, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

THEN, please answer the following questions:

1. what is your ideal, perfect warm place?

2. what images are stirred in your imagination or memory from this Reznor instrumental masterpiece? don't let the actual images from the music video influence you, what are your images?

3. how do you warm up to people? how do strange people warm up to you?

4. fuck you're hot. babes, how do you like it? you like it gentle? you like it when my able fingertips warm up and massage your ass like that?

5. how do you prefer your french fries: piping, burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth hot, or warm?

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TMIT: AM I STILL TECHNICALLY ALIVE?

a lot of this prostate cancer/penis pump stuff is going over my head, i'm just here in my blue woolknit beanie trying to keep warm, avoiding the cancer of the psyche, and generally pumping myself up to seize the day. that is a cool skeleton pic, though, huh?

1. have you ever used a penis pump? turn on or off? can't say that i have, i now only have three cents to my name, so i couldn't afford it either way. as for pumps, i tried the three-pound dumbbells, but dumbbell that i am, i only lasted a few seconds, kinda like, well, yeah.

2. are you into the whole Viagra/Cialis thing? how did it work out? 4 hours, right, that's the claim? can't say that i have, but i do very much love the cinematography of those commercials, that eerie blue hue over everything, the matching tubs for husband and wife, that fucking pimp sailboat the dude uses to traverse the oceans to get to his honey, i mean, this is cinematic epic stuff, i'm sure if i ever were on the blue-pill juice, i'd feel Nietzchean Powerful like that, huh? commercials never lie, they stretch within federal limits, but never outright lie.

3. do you or your lover have experience with a penile implant? oh, you're so experienced, that's attractive in a man, that's what i hear all the time walking down the street. hey, i don't, but spread the implant wealth i say, let it be gender-neutral, soon women and men will be comprised of nothing but robotic parts for all of their sexual needs anyway, there will be elimination of the one-second man and the emergence of all women having huge breasts and a full butt, and Ghost In The Shell will commence.

4. lupron depot, loss of libido, diet changes?: okay, i know this is a serious topic, so i'll refrain from my usual shenanigans. speaking of food, though, seriously, i'm serious now, stay the FUCK away from that huge plastic container of Taco Bell XXL steak nachos, i was sick off that shit all weekend, those chips nearly destroyed me, i can't talk about it, can't relive it again or i'll throw up...all those fucking steak strips in the chips with that huge-ass dollop of sour cream and big-ass pound of guac that they smother it with....AHHHHHHHHHH, my tummy is feeling the effects again...shit, oh, no, help me, please, does anyone have a pink pill?

5. have you ever changed your diet for health reasons? not in relation to cancer, but when i was younger, i wanted to get buff as fuck, i'm a skinny stick you see, always have been, still am, so i sauntered on over to my local GNC and loaded up on big canisters of chocolate-milk-flavored muscle powder. the musclehead at the front counter had such kind eyes---and such insanely-unnatural biceps---that i literally couldn't turn him down for fear of getting pummeled right there on the store floor in front of everyone and the bright blinding overhead lights...long story short (too late), the powder didn't work at all on my body, i just pooed it all out like i usually do with every other food and drink i consume, though i still was tempted after all that i went through to try the strawberry flavor of the powder.

6. how would you react to a total lack of cum? i'd cry, but then i'd man up and try to choose a woman who would love me for me and not the gallons of cum i could produce onto all over her oily body. does such a woman exist? stay tuned...early signs and a look at the fortune magic 8-ball are "pointing to NO".

7. have you ever experienced the fabled "whole body orgasm"? no, but it does seem fabled and magical, i want to feel this in my toes and fingertips, i'm down to journey to a faraway land and talk to the monk situated by the hanging cliff to hear his thoughts on the subject. like Finn and Jake, i'll tuck away my long flowing blond hair into my white Finn hat and let's Tantric away.

8. do you think a man treated for prostate cancer deserves a blow job? if yes, please email Virtual Sin, aka SinnerMan: ABSOLUTELY!!! DEFINITELY!!! WITHOUT A DOUBT!!! of course, let us all experience the joys of sex and love and later heartbreak and existential doubt, yes, humans unite! with a name like SinnerMan, i'll ALL IN to the cause, fellow sinners join and boing :)

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COLOR MY WORLD

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TNH: THE COURAGE LINE

*CLICKY CLICKY*

first, click above on that plant fighting for life in my soiled hands, that plant displaying much courage to, despite all of the demonic forces against it, live, to struggle for that last bit of sunshine and air and seed...for #2 of 4

THEN, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

THEN, please answer the following questions:

1. when in your life did you find the courage to love?

2. do you prefer music songs sung and composed by women or men? think about this, it may be a hidden subconscious thing you haven't explored yet.

3. you stand at the foot of an electrified fence, beyond that fence is the hope of a new day, a new life where you'll finally be free, how do you get by the fence? even cartoony answers will be accepted.

4. fuck, girl, your suck technique definitely does not suck. shit, i'm gonna cum, where do you want me to cum?

5. crowd surfing: exciting or scary?

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TMIT: I PREFER MOOVEMBER...FOR MOOSTACHE

the great cause of Movember, mustaches and such, raising awareness and money for something that as a man i turn my head for and worry about: ball cancer. the election is tomorrow, so i already have vote cancer.

1. ladies, have you ever kissed a man with a mustache? gentlemen, have you ever had a mustache? did you like it? who you callin' gentleman?...i'm a freak. anyway, from now on, as cool a spelling as "mustache" is, i always nailed it at those 3rd grade spelling bees, let's go with MOOSTACHE from now on, keep the brand alive. i have a moostache on right now, all very dignified, maintained, manicured...what i do is i shave off my head every month, including all the facial hair, that's how i "deal" with my hair, i have more important things to think about than hair, like play points...okay, well, sometimes i do rub a little product in there, a little WEN.

2. they say "putting on the beard" is going down on a babe with a full bush down there. do you prefer a bearded, trimmed, or bald pussy? they also say "putting on the ritz" is code for something, like it's either a sex thing or it has to do with Ritz crackers...i prefer the bush to be wild like it would be in the wild, on the high plains, let that curly, scraggly thing breathe and grow and develop into a pet, your pet, the bestest friend you ever had, beard it, love it, soothe it, comb and brush it, pigtail it, pink-bow it, and let my mouth and tongue comb through the hairs and wisps to get to the promised land.

3. what's your preferred style of "tashing on" (snogging): dunno, but i'm definitely using "tashing on" and "snogging" at my next party, way better than "kissing". ahhh, you Brits, i love you guys so much, wish i spoke with a British accent and ate pies made of every food all the time, you guys did the original The Office with the better subtle humor, you do Doctor Who which rivals Star Trek TNG for sci-fi sophistication, and of course the masterful UK version of Skins, which actually went there, unlike Degrassi these days. oh, sidetracked, um, i tash on with passion, grace, want, and real desire, i kiss my babe on the lips full force as if it will be the last kiss we ever share before i go off to war...the war between my multiple personalities.

4. when was the last time you cupped yours or anyone else's testicles? i can tell ya, but i'd have to marry ya. first clue: police station...second clue: insane asylum

5. if you had a mustache, what style would it be and why? i tend to stay away from hipster charts when it comes to my style, there's just too much of a temptation to copy someone else's term, like for instance i never want to wear a Gangnam Style mustache, that's already played out...i want the phoenix mustache, which can only be worn by the late of my species: picture my lips, my kissable full round juicy lips, okay my 'stache is in the shape of a phoenix, all up in my grill and my lips, all up on my juicy lips ready to lick your tits and your cunt and your asshole...whoa, sorry there...can i call ya? this is crazy, i barely know you, but call me maybe?

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J.UST F.REAKING K.OOL

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