Friday, September 8, 2017

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER WILL NEVER END


learned:

* Subaru, the all-American company

* man: you said you were gonna be wearing nothing. the red parka's cute tho.

* man: oh i thought you said you were butch and i got you out of it.
woman: i was never a lesbian, i've just always liked Subarus.

* man: what breed is Butch?
woman: careful, it's easy to call him Bitch. he's a guy, he hates that.

* woman: i think you two are gonna be best friends.
Butch: we dogs used to eat our best friends when we were still wolves. showed dominance.

* Butch: i got bigger and bluer balls than you, dude.

* woman: now that's a well-trained dog. thank you to all the Hollywood people.

* man: they're playing our song, Butch! what's his favorite music?
Butch: anything by Butch Vig.
man plays Smashing Pumpkins.
Butch: it's okay but the reunion ain't complete without D'arcy on that sweet blue bass.

* man: i like cats better.
Butch: this is like that Garfield strip where Jon tries to go on a date...

* man: you sleep with Butch? lucky.
woman: for me or the dog?
man: our dogs slept outside.
woman: and where are they now?
man: brushing their teeth.

* man: accidental hotel?
woman: Occidental. means Western.
man: so they're no showers?

* man: honey is it your time of the month?
woman: how insensitive! we're breaking up!
man: no, your time to get the mouthwash. we can't just keep using the free whiskey mini-flasks.

* man: honey! my toothbrush has hairs!
woman: they're obviously yours. i have straight hair, you have curly hair...
man: but we both have pubes.

* man: you have a nice ass.............i think............i can't see it.

* Butch: i invented doggystyle, dude.

* man: hey Butch, what's the five-day forecast?
woman: too soon.

* man: i haven't slept on the floor since i was in third grade.
woman: what happened in fourth grade?
man: dad got a new mom and the whole family got waterbeds.

* man: Butch is like an old soul that just hates my guts.
woman: God hates us you know. God hates his creation of Man.

* man: can i keep the red parka?

* woman: the only thing God sorta liked was his creation of dogs.
man: we're breaking up.

* woman: *narrating* you can never have too many Facebook followers...

* narrator: love is out there. find it. you wanna go out?
woman: i don't need a narrator. i can narrate on my own.

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

happy weekend, my babies. oh and GET THE FUCK OUTTA DODGE!!!











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