Friday, January 1, 2016



* so the Next Big Bang's coming. but y'know, as long as the explosions are in rhythm with the music, i'm cool with it. destruction's gotta have a beat. there's no creation without creativity. still haven't seen that show.

* Lady Gaga's origin story. she was too colorful even for the other colorful birds in the woods. she ended up becoming the first cosplayer. this is what killed the dinosaurs.

* believe it or not, there was a time when people drank coffee without zarfs. they used these bigass mugs and stone tankards and sometimes they just cupped their hands.

* personally, i think having an imaginary friend is healthy. it's not a sign that you're crazy. in my experience, this is just me now, but my imaginary friend: best sex i ever had.

* see? Bigfoot's not scary. all Bigfoot wants to do is shred the gnar like everyone else.

* Google Maps: want to help us out?
Phoenix: fuck yeah! where are you paying for me to go?
Google Maps: New Jersey.
Phoenix: oh.
Chris Christie: hello there, young man. my name is Chris Christie. i'm running for president.
Phoenix: oh, that's nice. Chris Christie, that's gotta be a stage name. do i have to answer three riddles before you let me cross your bridge?

* God was the first drone. but for whom was God collecting information?

* damn that Gandhi got buff.

* BELIEVE pickup truck with the flame decals and the tire fire: Mulder's truck. i'm not naming any suspects but this is why smoking cigarettes all the time is bad.

* did you know that if you arrange all the continents on Earth you can form a chicken?


happy weekend. another year already? what took so long? i'm an old man. i look old for my age...


Jules said...

Creation devastation with a bit of cool funk, house nation.

Off to make a chicken....*)

the late phoenix said...

the UN's first suggestion for a slogan, "One Cock, One World", did not go over well. they didn't even have to put it to a vote... *)